Sex and the City | 2
Show Notes:
Sex and the City first aired on HBO in 1998 and stars Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Cyntia Nixon, and Kim Catrall. In this episode host, Julia Washington discusses Charlotte York-Goldenblatt and Samantha Jones with guest Carly Adams. The two discuss whether or not Charlotte is the epitome of stereo-typed women and what everyone can learn from Samantha.
Carly also mentions her podcast Tidy Revival, where you can listen to her interview with Julia about storage ideas for small spaces.
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Transcript:
Julia: Hey friends, this is pop culture makes me jealous where we talk about pop culture through the lens of race or gender. And sometimes both Carly Adams is back. And today we are talking about Charlotte York and Samantha Jones from sex and the city. When you join our Patreon community, you get access to all episodes, bonus content, invitations to our monthly happy hour and a weekly drop in hangout session that feels more like hanging out at a coffee shop.
Julia: The cost is only $15 a month. When you join, we'll even give you a shout out in one of our episodes. Don't wait, join us. Become a pop culture club member today, sex in the city. First aired on HBO in 1998 and stars Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, and Kim Petro. But before we dive into our topic, let me reintroduce you to my guest.
Julia: Carly Adams is a home organizer based in Sacramento and owner of tidy revival. She has been featured on previous episode. Moxy 10 things I hate about you. She's all that. She is also a pop culture. Makes me jealous Patreon member. And I am so excited. She's back again, because as you all know, she is my friend in her life.
Julia: Welcome back to the show. Carly, thank you, Julia.
Carly: You know, this is one of my favorite places to be. I
Julia: love that. I just feel like how are I feel like, I feel like normally is the moment when, you know, you ban when you banter with the guests, but I'm just like, what can we banter about that's appropriate for the show?
Julia: Because all I wanna ask are personal questions.
Carly: absolutely nothing. Julia, absolutely nothing. Or,
Julia: oh, I know. Tell everybody how you're doing a podcast now.
Carly: Oh my gosh. or that or that. So the ti revival podcast is here by the time this comes out into the world, it will have been launched. Um, Julia's. Episode may have aired by now
Carly: or it's coming soon. and I'm really excited. I'm really excited. And it's because we're gonna be talking about, um, the emotional aspect behind decluttering and organizing. We're gonna be getting super real, having uncensored conversations with people who have been in your shoes, because what I found working with my clients and my students is that everybody feels really isolated in the process and much like the very real conversations you have here.
Carly: I just want people to know that they, um, are not alone and to give them, um, just some really heartwarming and real talk and just some awesome, awesome stories to listen to that will hopefully inspire you to take action in your home.
Julia: I love that. And I'm excited about the show, cuz I think that's a thing that a lot of like organizing shows on television, miss is the emotional element to it.
Julia: Um, and we'll save all of my emotions for when my episode of yours drops. But I do wanna say this. Do you remember when you came and helped me to help me clean out my child's, uh, and organize my child's bedroom and we found a disc under the bed with what appeared to be some sort of like substance on it.
Julia: And we were like, what is this? So I messaged him and he was like, oh, that's barbecue sauce. do you remember that?
Carly: I don't remember that specifically, but there were some. From that day, that will forever make me laugh. None of which I will share. Now,
Julia: this is how I know you're a real friend, cuz you still continue to be my friend after this, after that
Carly: oh my gosh.
Carly: I am obsessed with your offspring. Oh, um, obsessed me too. My, I, I will share this on the podcast. One of my greatest joys in the last year was using teen slang near him in order to thoroughly annoy him. bad. I used it and I felt like I reached like peak adult level. So pissed. Oh, it was a great day. he's so cute.
Julia: I just love that boy.
Carly: I love him. I can't believe he's not a
Julia: baby anymore. I know. I still call him baby though. I can't blame you at all. Yeah. Okay. So I have a question before we dive into our topic. Yeah. Do you remember what you thought of rich or wealthy women or what messages you received about wealth and money when you were a kid?
Julia: Yes,
Carly: very specifically. Um, because there was definitely a chunk of time when I was a kid where things were more lean. Um, my dad had a job change and that's what, um, so I'm actually from Colorado, which I don't usually talk about because I don't really remember much from then. Um, and we moved to the central valley when I was four and a half.
Carly: So that was because of the job change. That's what brought us to central valley. We don't have any family out there. Um, and so yeah, things were more lean during that time while they're kind of like building things back up again. And, um, and I remember cuz some things stuck with me, but I never felt like I had to go without.
Carly: Hmm. like a lot of it is like looking back and realizing like, oh, we didn't have a lot of money. Um, but I think that my parents made a really conscious choice to concentrate on teaching us about being grateful for what we had versus dwell on what we didn't. And I'm really grateful for that. And I even was grateful for that.
Carly: Um, when I was a kid, like I remember coming back from holiday break, um, in school, like not just one instance. Every year, this was something that really bothered me as a child. um, when you get back from the holiday break and kids ask you, like, it's like, Hey, what'd you get for Christmas? Hey, what'd you get for Christmas?
Carly: And even as a, as a kid, the concentration in my family wasn't about gifts. It was about family time and like experiences and enjoying each other's company. And, you know, I grew up really religious. So it was like the reason for this season mm-hmm and all of that mm-hmm. And so I would really get annoyed with like the other kids that they weren't asking me, like how my family time was and I, that they were concentrating on like, just things versus caring about each other.
Carly: Um but
Julia: do you think that's because a lot in my experience as a parent, a lot of parents just give their kids stuff to leave the parents alone. So I wonder if that's true from when we were kids too, because like what I observe. and my son's peers and their parents, I'm kind of hor not horrified. That's extreme.
Julia: I'm disappointed on how and how many parents aren't actively making an effort to know who their children are as teenagers. I don't know everything about my kid. Like, that's just true, period.
Carly: Yeah. That's true. For any parent of a team
Julia: mm-hmm, like, I don't know how he is with his entire friend group, but I know how he is with some of his friends, the ones that mean something to him.
Julia: Yeah. And like actively make an effort to get to know him, his likes, his dislikes, you know, all those things, actual personality, his personal things that are deeper than the substance. And I don't see that in a lot of his, not a lot, his, his close knit group, you, you can kind of tell mm-hmm , but like on, in the wider net, we've had experiences where he.
Julia: Encountered children and their parents searches not involved. Here's money. Leave me alone. Here's a video game. Leave me alone. Don't bother me kind of shit. And I just don't understand that. I mean, yeah. Gimme 20 minutes after I get home from work.
Carly: Okay. yeah. I mean, we definitely, um, and it's worth noting that I am a child of in the eighties.
Carly: So there was a lot of free range parenting, as they say mm-hmm . So there was a lot of go outside and play, um, you know, and they were just like getting into mischief. Um, but yeah, maybe it was cuz we didn't like my parents shouldn't just throw money at it, you know, but we were just like, I don't know, we were outside a lot.
Carly: In a good way. Yeah. So, um, like I had a, you know, we had some favorite sticks we played with and stuff and, and that sounds like really weird, but it was awesome. Yeah. I love that. I mean, I still bringing up, like, remember of sticks, like mean were crying.
Julia: I painted rocks. Does that? I was
Carly: everyone in 2020. No, I'm just kidding.
Carly: um, no, I was like, I was obsessed with American girl. Mm. Same. I loved American girl. Who was your girl? Oh, um, oh my gosh. Why am I blanking? Felicity? I'm like now is not the time to blank Felicity. I remember getting in trouble one time. I read somebody called Felicity in a book. They called her a chit. It was a slang rude term.
Carly: And I used it in real life and I got in trouble because it sounded way too much like the sh word, oh my, that stuck with my whole life. But I had the American girl. Books mm-hmm and I had the American girl paper dolls. Yeah. And I had the American girl catalog. Yay. And I used to spend hours and hours adding things up, like different combinations of like, if I could, what would I get?
Carly: But like, that was like enough. Yeah. I was like, I have all these memories of just like fond memories of looking through catalog and adding up sums and it, and like a very fulfilled, happy, happy child memories, like in no way was I ever, like, why can't I have a doll? I was like, now these dolls are pretty expensive.
Carly: I don't think that's gonna happen. It doesn't really seem reasonable to me, but I can play with the catalog.
Julia: Um, you're such an oldest
Carly: child. I'm such a do that's. Okay. Um, so yeah, I, I think I realized that wealth gaps existed, you know, like my third grade friend. An American girl doll in the bed and the wardrobe and the outfits and all the things.
Carly: So like I understood it, but I also didn't have, it felt more factual versus judgemental. Oh, oh, okay. Like, oh, some people have more money and some people don't okay. Versus like a sadness or sure. Yeah. Like a, like a longing or jealousy.
Julia: So how does that translate? Do you think into how you view wealthy women in media?
Carly: That's an excellent question. I don't know that I've ever really taken the time to like dissect it sure. From that point of view. I
Julia: mean, have we ever thought about it before? You know what I mean? Like yeah.
Carly: And I think it's interesting too. Like, um, socioeconomically where my family, I'm just gonna say like statistically sure.
Carly: Ranked. um, in our, our household, how much we made or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Where, where, where we fell on that spectrum, um, was different by like the end of high school than it was when I was four and a half when we moved to Colorado. Yeah.
Julia: Which I feel like is not untypical. Like my parents were in a much better financial place when I was in high school than when my siblings were in high school.
Julia: And remember there's an age gap, I don't think. Yeah. The age gap. But you had siblings in between you and your youngest sister. There is no sibling. My next sibling is five years older. Mm-hmm
Carly: but something I also think about is that when we moved to California, like my parents, my mom was in her late twenties.
Carly: Like dad was in his early thirties. And I think about where I was at that age. And I was just a mess. So the fact that my parents like had, had kids three children, that they were keeping alive and like being good parents to, you know, I'll take it. Um, cuz I. Was again, cannot stress. This enough was just a mess.
Carly: So, you know, there's not too. Um, but I, and I know we're gonna get into it. More sex in the city had a very specific effect on
Julia: me. do you love to read pop culture makes me jealous hosts, a monthly book club that reads books that have been adapted for the screen. We meet on the fourth, Sunday of every month via zoom.
Julia: The book club is open to anyone, but Patreon pals can vote on our monthly read and have access to our replay to sign up, hit the link in the show notes. We have mech visit pop culture makes me jealous.com/merch to purchase today. Some hoodies and t-shirts are the pop culture staples, but you don't wanna miss out on our seasonal collections, whether it's specific to the show or season catch those limited edition styles before they're gone.
Julia: Visit pop culture makes me jealous.com/merch to shop and use promo code shop pod to receive 15% off your first order. That's S H O P P O D. Be sure to tag us on social, wearing your swag. Charlotte York is the ultimate wasp. And for those who don't know, that is a white Anglo Saxon protest. Technically, she says she's Episcopalian, but like same different sides of the same coin, right?
Julia: She's polished, refined, and incredibly proper. Kristin Davis embodies this character with the elegance in grace. One expects from a woman whose main goal in life is to marry and have children and, uh, marry well. Like that is the goal in the early seasons. She works as an art gallery director in season three, she meets in Mary's tray and even was beer man whose family's generational wealth is just as blinding as the plaid apartment.
Julia: After short marriage. The now divorced Charlotte is the proud owner of that perfect plaid, apartment redecorated. She lived in with Trey and a million bucks in the bank because that's what they're prenup allowed. Do you think Charlotte's life and timeline, uphold stereotypes and ideals?
Carly: I think. Charlotte is such an interesting character and I'm really happy we're having this conversation.
Carly: Um, first of all, I have to tell you that the concept of wasp had to be fully explained to me in college. I had no idea what that meant. Um, the only
Julia: reason why I knew is because my mom was so bitter about being a very light Italian and people, assuming she was a wasp when she grew up Catholic.
Carly: Oh, that's very interesting.
Carly: Mm-hmm , that's very interesting. Okay.
Julia: Yeah. Um, and then she'll probably text me after she listens to this message. Something I got wrong in there. Go ahead.
Carly: Hi, Mrs. Washington. Um, so I really feel like Charlotte's ideal fit and expectation that I think a lot of people have present day for themselves or others and it really spans wealth divides and the thing.
Carly: So I have notes. In case anyone's wondering if this is like off the top of my head. Yeah, no, a lot to say about this
Julia: listener friends at home, all the guests get the question in advance because we don't ask easy questions. It's and I don't, and I don't want thoughtless answers. That's not the point of the show.
Carly: Um, so I think the thing that's easy to forget about Charlotte's story on the surface is how short of a time that we, of women as women have had options yeah. To vote, to have a bank account in our own name and not our, and our husbands and or fathers, um, own property mm-hmm . So for a long time, most of history, the option for your own.
Carly: Upward mobility. And that of your family was to marry up financially. Yeah. Like that needed to be the goal to help you and your whole immediate family survive. Um, and sometimes like survive.
Julia: Yeah. Um, I mean little women is the prime example because Meg, if Meg doesn't marry well, what does that mean for the rest of the family?
Carly: Exactly. She's setting the precedent for everybody else. Yep. Um, go ahead. Sorry. I cut you off. No, you're great. I think that traditionally, like it's just not something that can go away so easily. And considering that she is a wasp, there's a lot kind of ingrained mm-hmm in your family around wealth and tradition and upward mobility.
Carly: Um, so having these decisions in the first place that can absolutely include. Getting married to someone who can financially support you, your children, which was also her goal. So you can stay home with them. Mm-hmm and, or get even more support. Um, I do want to throw this in here as somebody who is a business owner, um, a college grad, I don't have children.
Carly: It is by choice and I do want to work outside the home. And that is something that I love. I fully recognize that all of those are choices mm-hmm that we did not have, um, in recent time. Mm-hmm um, and I also know that if I had more means there were probably plenty of things that I would be getting help on the lickity split.
Carly: So I can't really knock Charlotte, you know, that much because money gives you options. Um, and I think it does hold an ideal, but it's not. Everyone's ideal and that's okay, too guys.
Julia: Yeah, absolutely. I think Charlotte is exactly the American woman representation in the sense that I don't have any friends who identify as female.
Julia: I mean, I don't know what I actually, I can't speak for you, but I'm recall at this moment. I don't, I can't recall any friend who wasn't told something like, well, when you get married, he should be able to provide,
Carly: he should be able to provide mm-hmm ,
Julia: there's a line in almost famous when Kate Hudson's character is explaining herself to, um, William Miller, they're walking through central park and she's like, my mother always said marry up and marry well, and that's why she named me lady.
Julia: And that always hit me super hard because it's like, Just the idea of giving your daughter a name that sounds like it could be something per, you know, higher level, hoping that she'll have a better life than you because she's married up and married. Well, mm-hmm, like that's and that movie takes place in 73 and you know, my mom was 23 and 73.
Julia: So I'm gonna go with it's by the way, she recounts the seventies. It doesn't sound like it's that far off and it's interpretation.
Carly: Yeah. I mean, even in, and Julia knows this, this isn't something I talk about all the time, because why, but, um, when I was in my very early twenties, I was engaged for a short time to something.
Carly: So one that didn't work out and that is fine. Mm-hmm um, and, uh, for the best, so everyone we're fine with it, but
Julia: yeah, we're very fine with it, cuz we really do like who you ended up with a lot more,
Carly: just like a, my balls, but, um, but. The point is, you know, I was 21 and at that time, fully expected to get married, probably have children quickly, and people were thrilled for me thrilled.
Carly: And so I think that there are plenty of people still, where if, you know, you told somebody at 21, you're about to get married. And I mean, he didn't have a lot of means, but I'm sure if I had told if I, it was somebody of means, and my plan was to stay at home, be taken care of, have help raise children. And that's pretty much it maybe be on the board of something and, um, yeah, just live my life.
Carly: I cannot imagine that many people in my life at that time would have said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you thinking? I think people would just be thrilled for you. Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. Her transition on the show is actually interesting too, because post her divorce, you know, Harry Golden bla golden blat mm-hmm is, you know, her divorce lawyer.
Julia: And she, he is not ex she he's not anything that she, the show has established that Charlotte would want in a man other than he's got money. Um, and so, you know, I think his character coming in helps, I don't wanna say loosen her up, cuz I don't wanna say she's uptight. She's not uptight. Like that's the part of Charlotte that kind of bothers me is when people view her as uptight mm-hmm because it's like, well, you don't UN I, not that I fully understand lost culture.
Julia: I don't, but I understand it enough to know that Charlotte is a byproduct of that culture. So, you know, they're a little bit more conservative. They're a little bit more proper.
Carly: She, she says a line somewhere in the show. I can't remember, but I wanna say it's before the divorce and she says something like, oh no, we don't yell.
Carly: We're was.
Julia: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, and, and I feel like even if somebody doesn't identify directly as being a, was like, we had a family, we had somebody marry into the family who solidly grew up in a white home mm-hmm like no ethnic anything. And we were too much. We were too loud. We were too opinionated. We were too loud.
Carly: I'm I'm giggling because, um, folks at home, even if you see video of me, probably can't tell. Um, but I'm half Mexican, I'm half very, very, very white. And, um, the two backgrounds, it's, there's some similar stories. Yeah. Where it's very different culturally and like just how opinions are present presented it.
Julia: Like Charlotte can't like, and that's why she and Sam are such a great dynamic that we discussed today because she literally can't handle. Samantha's just full on, I mean, this is the expression and we should find a new one balls out. I'm this? I was what I'm talk. Fuck what, you know. Yeah. Like we're talking about sex, like, why are you St like, why are you bristling?
Julia: Because that's not the culture that she grew up in. And, you know, people argue that white people don't have culture, blah, blah, blah. I get it. But like, if you wanna look at a culture that is basically colonialism it's wasps .
Carly: Yeah. And I, my favorite scenes insects in the city are the ones where
Julia: Charlotte, they say colonialism.
Julia: I meant colonizers.
Carly: I, I, I got it.
Julia: Seeing Charlotte go.
Carly: My favorite scenes are the ones where Charlotte just storms out without a word. Like Samantha said something Charlotte has had enough for the day and just leaves. I think it's happened once, maybe twice, but it's really good
Julia: time. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, you know, if that's the kind of life you're looking to have, she kind of does have the, this is the, this is the ideal.
Julia: Um, this is the way to do it. I mean, granted, her first marriage didn't work out and that's, you know, sad, but also she did it. She did what she was supposed to do.
Carly: And it's a chapter too, you know, like some chapters are longer than others.
Julia: I will say though, that I, you know, she did advocate herself for herself in a lot of ways because the original prenup was.
Julia: Not a million dollars.
Carly: I think it was, it was a hundred grand and no apartment.
Julia: Yeah. And so, you know, she did go to bat for herself there, which is kind of like you go
Carly: girl. Yeah. And actually the prenup was just a million, but no apartment Trey just gave her the apartment after the split. Yeah. Because she loved it and she, and
Julia: because she just redone it.
Julia: Yeah. And I think because too bunny was just being so awful about the whole thing.
Carly: Yeah. Bunny perfectly cast, by the way. Yes.
Carly: Oh,
Julia: sure. And too, even her education getting an art degree to be an art director, like, I feel like that's a narrative that I hear a lot about when we talk about sort of, that was culture. I keep calling it a culture, but you know what I mean? It's a culture. Yeah. You know, like you get a degree that doesn't necess, it's like art, art, history, history, you know, something that is.
Julia: Like a, I have an English degree, so I really shouldn't say it like this, but it kind of feels that way. Like, it's one of those degrees where you can kind of do anything with, and there's not like any, when we were kids, my impression was there's not any clear direction of what you would do with an art degree or a history degree or an English degree.
Julia: Like you just get those degrees to get through college. You know, the generation before us, you know, my mom's generation, actually, I think our parents are significantly different in age two, but my mom's generation, you go to college to get your MRSS degree. Why, why would you go to college? If you weren't gonna come out a misses in a college dropout?
Julia: Mm-hmm
Carly: I have heard that so many times, so many times people saying that to you. Oh yeah, yeah. Not, not me specifically, but certain schools within my community that, um, People would go to and be like, okay, so when are you getting married? You know? And it was just totally fine. And half expected. Mm-hmm, my par my parents did stress to us that they wanted us to finish school.
Carly: And even from when I was younger, really young, it was basically like, you never know what's gonna happen to your husband, still husband in that story. Um, mm-hmm you never know what's gonna happen, um, to your husband. So you need to, um, go to school and get your degree because if something doesn't work out or if, if they've like killed him off in this scenario, like basically if he dies, you need to be able to support yourself and your children.
Carly: So go to school, finish school was something that they always, yeah. Um, it was, that really did feel like an expectation. Didn't matter what degree didn't matter what school. Um, but they were like, you should, you should finish.
Julia: Yeah, I feel like you can't go wrong with having an education. I wish it was more accessible when my dad went to USC.
Julia: It was not as expensive as it is now.
Carly: Yeah, man, tuition. I,
Julia: oh, go ahead. I say honestly, like there's no way I could send my child to USC if he had applied and gotten in tuition with the cost
Carly: at the state school that I went to, which was SS state go Gators, um, went up legit and I took my time through school, but not that much time tuition went up a hundred percent while I was there.
Carly: Ouch. Yeah. Like what,
Julia: another thing about Charlotte that I thought was really interesting about her character when, um, Carrie needs to buy her apartment off of Aden and she needs like 40 grand for a down payment or whatever. And Carrie's livid that Charlotte won't give her the money. And I, that situation I was on team Charlotte.
Julia: That's a lot of money. It's a lot of money. A lot of money. Carrie has demonstrated. She is not fiscally responsible.
Carly: Yeah. We'll get to this at the end. But Carrie was my ideal. Um, ask me how that
Julia: worked out. She was a lot of girls women's ideal. She was, everybody wanted to be a Carrie. I know the episode's not about Carrie, but everybody wanted to be a Carrie and I'll get into this when cache comes on.
Julia: But like Carrie sucks. sorry, Sarah, Jessica Parker. I fucking love you. But Carrie sucks. I mean, she basically killed big, but anyway, not, not even just that, like how indignant she was about the guy who got her pregnant when she got the abortion. Did you even tell the guy that you were pregnant? Like he, I'm sorry.
Julia: The, if a man walks up to me and I don't remember sleeping with him and he acts indignant, I'm sorry. How was this 20 years ago? You want me to remember 20 years ago or in Carrie's case? 13 years ago. He doesn't know the significance of that situation because you never told him also he's
Carly: just at work.
Carly: It's like seeing your teacher at the grocery store. Yeah. If that was your teacher 20 years ago. Yeah.
Julia: Like, come on, man. Yeah. I don't know. She was just, I'll get into it when I know comes on. Know we could
Carly: really, we will not. We're cutting it off now. Yeah. We're
Julia: gonna be done here. Um, what were some of your favorite Charlotte moments?
Carly: Oh my gosh. So many. So my like best friend in college was a Charlotte novel wasn't carry and was last Samantha and and. Also I have to share. I was gonna say it later while I'll say it now. Um, so I, I loved the show. That's something you need to know about this I loved it with my whole heart. I, oh, you're jumping ahead.
Carly: I know. Okay. I, I won't the one thing I will say is that we were both RAs and as RAs, you had to like be in charge of some programming and basically my recurring programming that just did more than anything else
Julia: was just watching the city, watch parties.
Carly: poorly attended didn't care. didn't care at all. It was just mostly me and my boyfriend at the time. If I, he let me drag him to it. My other friend who was another RA and we were just having a ball watching sex and sitting on the big screen. Fantastic. Um, were you drinking cosmos? We would, we would make faux cosmos cause it was the dorms.
Carly: Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, we would make Virgin cosmos.
Julia: Oh, my God, the story just keeps getting better and better.
Carly: so some of , some of my favorite Charlotte moments include, Ooh, okay. Her storming out when she just like, can't take, take something that Samantha says about sex. She just like leaves mm-hmm um, there's any time where she gets really, she just does this little, like no head shake when something is like not acceptable and she's like, mm.
Carly: Like that's kind of, she doesn't make the sound, but that's what you imagine with her faces like cute little shake. It's so adorable. Um, any the whole bunny thing I like will never forget her sitting down and she's like bunnies back. like I have breakfast. I think she had like a cute headband. Yeah. Um, In, oh, I think this was in the movie the first that's okay.
Carly: Where she had the, it was where she had the miscarriage and then she was inspired. Oh no, no, no season. Yeah.
Julia: Say it was when Miranda was pregnant or Brady's first
Carly: birthday or something. Brady's first birthday. And it's when they got back together. I wanna say sixth season, maybe fifth. Anyway, she had a miscarriage and, um, she was like really, really inspired by Elizabeth Taylor's like story on TV.
Carly: And then she decided to, she decided to come to Brady's birthday after all. And Harry was already there. So it was just her. And she like emerged out of her apartment, just completely inspired. And she had her glasses and this gorgeous pink strapless dress and she had her hair up and she just kind of.
Carly: Dusted herself off and confidently walked down the street and I was just like bawling my face off. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and she's just such a, she is a sweetie. She has a really, really big heart and her eternal optimism. Mm-hmm was just so endearing and, um, I'll and my last favorite moment that I'll share is like, she's like, you know, I've been dating for 15 years.
Carly: Where are you saying? Yes.
Julia: Yes. That's totally a line. I remember and I feel like that's perfect for her character because that's her role is to get married and have the babies.
Carly: Yeah. Yeah. I, when I was, so I first watched Jackson city when I was like newly 19 and having grown up in a culture that was very focused on marriage.
Carly: Mm-hmm obviously like got engaged, very young. Um, I definitely felt that way. Like I remember thinking. Like when I was in my early 20, early twenties, like where is he already? Like, what's why have I not found the one? And looking back, I'm like, oh my God, chill out, chill out. My dad was always like, you have your whole life to be with someone.
Carly: But at the same time, it was definitely a culture that like promoted getting married, so mixed messages, but yeah. But yeah, it was just like, when is it gonna happen for me? Mm-hmm and, um, kind of, I regret that. Yeah.
Julia: Do you remember how they all sort of, kind of, did they all gang up on her when she said she was gonna quit her job to marry Trey?
Julia: Yeah. That felt kind of, that felt kind of shitty cuz she's doing what she's supposed to do. I mean, I don't agree with it personally. I was always told, have your own money, cuz you never know what's gonna happen. And so for, but her friend, like this is who she is, this is what she wants. And her friends are basically telling her she's stupid for it.
Julia: Like that's how it felt to me.
Carly: Yeah. I mean, I think in the episode, I think they were trying to write Carrie as like the supportive one and
Julia: she, Gary never came off as a supportive one.
Carly: they tried to write her is
Julia: this cold phenomenon is like, like beyond me sometimes. Cause I'm just like there show is trash, but I can't stop watching it.
Carly: I, I rewatched the whole thing recently. I own this
Julia: seasons on D V D and whenever it's on TV, I watch it. So clearly this trash attracts me.
Carly: Hello, trash it's I'm in I'm poor myself. No really quick. Um, Yeah. Yeah. I, I remember Carrie, I wanna say Carrie said something to the effect of like, are you really sure sweetie?
Carly: Mm. And she's like, and then, but that's kind of like it. Yeah. Everybody was basically like, what the hell are you doing? Yeah. Like, I'm just gonna focus on, I'm just gonna focus on this. And there's so much going on. Gotta redo the
Julia: app. Yeah. It just felt like a lack of understanding of like, Hey, we get that.
Julia: This is what you want. We don't agree, but we'll still support you.
Carly: Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't necessarily the most empathetic show in a lot of ways. Yeah.
Julia: Blair underwear being the first black character and it's like the last season. It's fine. it's not, but it's not. He's fine though. So woo. That man is hot.
Carly: Yeah.
Carly: It was a bit, that was a bit much on the hot
Julia: scale. Yeah. It actually was a little didn't. Miranda when Miranda ended up and was like, oh, why wouldn't you wanna wake up to that every day? Steve's adorable, but fuck, I
Carly: we'll have to send you there's this comedian I follow. And she does like the best Steve impression.
Julia: Well, I can't wait for that to end up in my inbox. Oh my gosh.
Carly: It's really, really accurate.
Julia: yeah. OMG. Have we covered all the Charlotte? You wanna cover? Yeah. Okay. One of the quickest and easiest ways to support our show is by subscribing rating and reviewing our podcasts on apple podcasts, sharing with other users while you love this show and reasons to tune in is a simple kindness that will forever go appreciated by team pop culture makes me jealous.
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Julia: Mario. We're on YouTube as pop culture makes me jealous subscribe. Samantha Jones is a self-made woman. She is fierce and motivated. She is unlike any other character seen on television at this time with her unwavering confidence in wealth, Samantha is notorious in more ways than one. Her PR firm is one of the best.
Julia: Sam knows what she wants and she goes for it. She sex positive before sex positive was a buzzword. She is Charlotte's complete opposite throughout the series. Samantha has three major relationships, none of which she enters into willingly, but Sam works hard to not lose herself when love comes knocking.
Julia: But love doesn't define Sam in the way that it does for any of the other three women. Sam is a holdout, the one who isn't worried about finding that one. True love. So what are some lessons that we could learn from Samantha Jones? Oh my gosh.
Carly: I love me some Sam. I think. That the biggest lesson that we should all learn from Samantha Jones is to love yourself above all else.
Carly: Oh yeah. Oh, so much. Um, okay, so I have a bit of a high horse. Um, no, no, no, not high horse. What is it? So box, I have a bit, bit of a soap box. Okay. To jump onto real quick. Hold on, let me get ready. I'm ready. Some people, when I get into it, they're like sounds high horse to me, but that's fine. Here's what I think I have a really big problem with our society.
Carly: And I've been thinking about this a lot. If anybody is listening to this and knows of some sort of nonprofit that addresses this specific situation, please send me the information because I really want to get involved. Um, My problem with society as a whole is that we really concentrate on teaching young girls that they are princesses.
Carly: And because of that, it often teaches us that we need to wait for prince charming to come and save us. Mm-hmm and it really puts the emphasis on us finding a relationship as the thing that is our number one goal mm-hmm and the thing that matters. And instead, I think that it would do our society as a whole, a much better service.
Carly: If we taught girls to love themselves above all else, instead of seeking external validation in the relationships that they have with somebody else, I think that we should really be teaching young girls to find. Value within themselves to be their own best friend to seek love and support from within as like the ultimate goal to love yourself first, to rely on yourself first, to be yourself as number one, versus finding love.
Carly: And I believe this with my whole heart. And I say that as someone who is married to a man that I love and is great, that being said, I think what we do to young girls, as far as like making the concentration about finding a relationship is number one. Like, I think it's utter bullshit. Mm-hmm and I don't think it's doing anyone any favors.
Carly: I think it's a huge detriment. And I think Samantha Jones really goes against the grain in that way. And I really appreciate that. I wish that I spent more time learning from her because she got, she got a lot of flack. . I mean, I can make, I made a Samantha joke earlier. Everybody knows everybody gets that joke.
Carly: Samantha jokes are always a hit mm-hmm . If I was a comedian, a Samantha joke would be in my type five because everybody gets it and it gets a laugh every time. It's a very, very easy joke. Um, and I saw the show, as I mentioned for the first time at 19, like just newly 19. Um, so there's parts of it that I wish that I had unraveled for myself emotionally earlier, like financial literacy specifically.
Carly: Mm-hmm um, but there's others like the sex positivity that I'm really grateful for. Um, because I think it helped remove a lot of stigma and shame from that world. Which I didn't necessarily, I didn't necessarily get that messaging earlier in life in the, the community that I grew up in, um, religiously, cuz I knew you and I grew up in the same, like geographical.
Carly: Uh,
Julia: yeah, but we also both grew up in religion, different religions, but yeah, the messaging is similar in that. I mean we had fucking period ceremonies and we had somebody in the auditory and peddling promise rings and mm-hmm you know that
Julia: anytime somebody got married at 19, we all knew it was so they could have sex. Yeah. Like the emphasis on how you have to save yourself because you need to be pure. I mean, the acting skits they did, like when I think back on the amount of propaganda I was fed, that was actually super harmful when it came to not only my racial identity, self identity, my sexual identity, all of it,
Carly: dude.
Carly: Yeah. And on top of, on, on top of all of that, there's also a huge stigma, at least in mind to get divorced. Mm-hmm which means that you oh yeah. Essentially pressuring people to get married quickly and stay so that they can have sex, but then shaming them for wanting to leave a marriage. But they entered into it really quickly.
Carly: Mm-hmm I'm like, yeah. What
Julia: that's been, we, we had a pastor who wouldn't remarry couples. If you were divorced, he refused to marry you again.
Carly: Cool. Cool. That's a great story. I mean, it's, it's just really happy.
Julia: Yeah. It's shit like that. So how do you, I like, how am I supposed to interpret that as a 15 year old?
Julia: Yeah. That means you marry once and you marry once
Carly: you better get it right quickly. Mm-hmm before the desire to have sex set better get on it.
Julia: Yeah. I that's why the age of consent in the south is probably 15. Sorry if that was a low blow
Carly: actually in some states it's 14. Yeah. Um, not a joke. Just facts.
Carly: Just facts. Um, yeah, I appreciate Samantha. I think that she, she came not, not came across, but I think that she was kind of intended and written sometimes as like selfish mm-hmm . , but I, I think that she explained herself well in that she's like, I'm number one. I worry about me. And the thing is, it's not selfish if you are the only one.
Carly: Yeah. It's, it's not like she was a mother and was ignoring her kids. It's not like she was married and ignoring her spouse. Mm-hmm , she's like, it's me. I'm number one. And I remember she said to Smith, um, I think it was when they broke up. She was like, I love you. I just love me more. Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. And I, I always appreciated how, like you said, how honest she was about that and what made her a great partner to Smith and to that Richard, Richard, thank you.
Julia: Was because she loved herself more. Mm-hmm and because she loved herself. So wholeheartedly that made space for her to be able to love them too, in the ways that. They, you know what I mean? Like it wasn't like this, not that love is a competition, but when you're seeking it, and the only goal is to find love.
Julia: You're not necessarily looking for a, the right partner. You're just looking for a partner. So it skews a lot of the stuff that happens when you are embarking on those relationships, because you have an end goal. Our end goal is to be married in a year. Our end goal is to be, you know, so rather than just en entering into a relationship because of whatever that initial spark or you're intrigued by each other and letting it sort of develop naturally, you know, she, that's what she does.
Julia: She's like, I already know who I am. I don't need you. This is fun. So let's have fun. And then that gives her space to actually develop a really, and that freaks her out too. Do you remember how she would get freaked out and
Carly: she wasn't pouring. all of herself into this other person. Mm-hmm every time she was in a relationship.
Carly: Yeah. Because she didn't have that kind of time. She had shit to do. Yeah. And it wasn't. So
Carly: I don't know. It's heartbreaking to watch sometimes. Well, and the other
Julia: part that's kind of frustrating to me is, you know, when I look at reflections about sex in the city or people sort of talk about the four women, do you remember the super bowl ad that they had her do? Kim control, where she's, you know, sory and sexy, she's basically naked in this ad, walking to get into the tub and everyone lost their shit.
Julia: This is pre. JT and Janet, by the way, mm-hmm um, and so I didn't understand, cause I hadn't seen the show at the time. Cause I think it was like 2000 or like 1999 or something like that. And a friend of mine had an older friend, this person's seven years older, so it's a family friend cuz they're friends with my siblings had to explain to me that's kind of her character on the show though.
Julia: Like she's just like that. And at the time it didn't make sense because I hadn't seen the show. I didn't understand why she was being seductive. I didn't understand. Like I ju I just didn't get it. And then now fast forward and I see the show and I don't see her as a seductress. I kind of feel like that ad did her dirt, her character dirty and sort of was saying like, oh, she's the sled of the show?
Julia: I
Carly: think, I think there was a lot of messaging out there being like she's the S sled of the show. Mm-hmm even though. The show was about sex. Everybody was having sex, they just had different nudity classes and each character
Julia: had a different way. They went about sex compared to Charlotte who literally won't do half of anything sexually that Samantha will do.
Julia: Mm-hmm which is fine. Yeah. Because everyone's comfort level is different. Mm-hmm so it's like, just because Samantha's willing to explore more doesn't mean doesn't mean that she's. And so I feel like, so part of me when Kim control kind of, when people are like, oh, I'm so sad, she won't come back. Or there's a few between her and SJP, blah, blah.
Julia: I'm like y'all did her fucking dirty. Anyway. She, she, she knows better. She knows when to let it go because we were all trashed to Samantha and she is like, no, thanks. I'm good. Got my money and run
Carly: I am playing the mother on how I met your father. I'm good. Yeah. I'm over here telling my story on a couch.
Carly: don't worry about me. I'm fine.
Carly: Yeah.
Julia: I love Sam. What are some of your favorite, um, scenes with her?
Carly: Oh my gosh. Okay. One, no, I'm not even gonna get into it. I watched, when I was rewatching, there was episode actually like really pissed me off, but I was like, we're gonna talk about that right now. That'd be like its own episode. Okay. Um, the episode
Julia: where she, you heard that everybody car's coming back to about that specific.
Julia: I love that you're muffling your mouth, your laugh while I'll just like bold into the microphone, let it rip .
Carly: Um, so when she takes, she ends up meeting this college student named Sam Jones, Uhhuh. He's a Virgin. She takes this virginity and then he is like, Sam love him. He's like sobbing. And she's like, oh, like, I love that.
Carly: Um, I love when she got with Smith, Jared and she like, basically was stalking his restaurant to be his last table and just kept ordering food. And then it's between like, it just kept dwindling dwindling. And then she goes up to this girl. I was seeing thinking about this the other day and she's like, listen, like, I'm gonna fuck him.
Carly: So you like, basically. Let's just call it quits. I've got your meal and, and like a bonus or whatever, and she's like sound good. And the woman like stares at her and is like, yeah. All right. Forget.
Carly: Um, yeah, there's also this, anything, anything like Hamptons related mm-hmm was always just super fun. Um, when they went to LA mm-hmm . Oh, and then the ultimate, oh, I was just telling this to Corey and he was like, what? Um, remember this one time? He's like, no, not even a little bit. Yeah. Um, so there was this episode where they went to a baby shower and.
Carly: um, it was some friend in Connecticut and then at the baby shower, they found out that the name they were gonna use was Charlotte's name. And she told that woman years back that that was her name. And I guess this was in season one. And since Charlotte didn't use it yet, I think it was Shayla, something like that.
Carly: Yeah. Yeah. And they were like, I can't wait for baby Shala. And she's like, what did you say? And they're like, yeah, the name and Shala. And she was like, that's my name? And she's like, no, I don't know what you're talking about. She's like, no, I told you, I told you I was gonna use that name. She's like, I don't, I don't think so.
Carly: And then Sam walks up and she's like, what's going on? She's like really interesting. She's like, she stole my name. She starts to says you bitch.
Carly: just the level of friendship instantly taking Charlotte's side, knowing nothing else about the story. I was like, Hell. Yes, that's a good friend. That's a good friend to say that to a pregnant person whose party you're at, and then they just
Julia: leave. It's the best. My favorite Samantha moment is after, is after she's been diagnosed with breast cancer and she's parked in that best oncologist ever waiting room.
Julia: And there's a nun in there with her and she's just trying so hard to get in. And this secretary or the receptionist is like, no, no, no, no, no. And then sees her in a magazine with Smith Jart and was like, oh my God, you're his girlfriend. And she's like, yes. And if I get treatment here, he'll probably be coming with me.
Julia: And she's like, she doesn't like it when I do this, but I can totally schedule you for an appointment at seven 30 in the morning. And she's like, I'll take it and make an appointment for her too.
Julia: I'm like, girl, you don't even know this woman and you fucking did her the biggest goddamn solid, like you wanna talk about being in a position of power and making somebody like you literally saved this woman's life. And they probably
Carly: don't have that much in common.
Julia: Yeah. Cuz it's a nun, which I think none it's a good point.
Julia: I think that's,
Carly: that's the best part of the whole thing. And she's like, it's happening for both of us.
Julia: It gets me every time I see that every time that scene happens, it gets me every time. Because to me that is like, so fem forward that's so like, fuck you system. We're gonna survive this together. And I'm gonna take these bitches with me.
Julia: Oh yeah. And I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Cause that doesn't happen a lot in sex city.
Carly: No, it doesn't happen a lot in a lot of shows. Yeah. But yeah, that was an amazing moment. That's the best.
Julia: That's my favorite. And then also, I just love it when she's in relationship with Smith. , he's so stink. I think he's so stink and cute.
Julia: And I just love how he's just so chill and he's like, yeah, babe, like all these things, I'm like a surfer dude and I'm hot and I, and only want you. And I just, ah, to me, that's the dream to have a guy who's like clearly super like, and he's not super famous when she meets him, but she helps him get there, becomes Uber super famous.
Julia: And he's still all about Sam. Like, Ugh. When I think about how I've been brainwashed about love and probably has a Cinderella complex, cuz that's a real thing. And like all the other things, like how I'm obsessed with romcoms and all that stuff, I'm like at the end of the day, it's, that's the, that's the story that I think is still gonna happen for me.
Julia: The Smith
Carly: mm-hmm I'm into it. the Jerry Jared Jerry,
Julia: Jared. Oh, that's not gonna work.
Julia: amazing. I fucking love zoom. She's probably my favorite somebody one time compared me to Miranda and I got so offended and they're like, why are you offended? Miranda is smart. And she's confident and she's a single mom and she's got a great job. And it was like, and she fucking sucks. She's angry all the time.
Julia: She's mean to everybody like. What? So you're equating me to Miranda because I'm smart. And because I have a kid I'm scared. should we not be friends
Carly: anymore? That's like, here's the thing. I love Miranda, but we all know that's like, if I was talking, we were, I was talking about friends with a friend earlier today.
Carly: Um she's she was like, yeah, I think I remember saying you were the Phoebe, you, you reminded me of Phoebe and you seem to get really pissed. I was like, yeah, because I probably took it as like, oh, you're the weirdo of the group. because I was in my twenties and that's like how I took it at the time. Yeah.
Carly: But I feel like that's how like insects in the city, if you're like, oh, you're like, you're the Miranda. It's like, get the fuck outta here. What, why wouldn't you
say
Julia: that to me? yeah. Cause I mean, and this was 10 years ago, probably 12. Now I'm just like, yeah, Miranda's probably. Having, you know, she's surviving her own version of the patriarchy figuring out her life.
Julia: And she did do really, really well for herself considering, but when I'm 26 and I'm trying to like survive and all I can see is Miranda being a shitty human, because they're all shitty
Carly: yeah. When you're 26, you just wanna be a Carrie. Yeah.
Julia: And especially because I was pursuing writing, like , that was my
Carly: legit.
Carly: I don't see that for you. Right. You're Miranda. I was just
Julia: like, oh, I'm we can't be friends anymore. Actually. I don't think I'm friends with that person anymore.
Carly: Yeah. Fair enough called you a Miranda.
Julia: She called me Miranda. Do you love to read pop culture makes me jealous hosts, a monthly book club that reads books that have been adapted for the screen.
Julia: We meet on the fourth, Sunday of every month via zoom. The book club is open to anyone, but Patreon Powells can vote on our monthly read and have access to our replay. To sign up, hit the link in the show notes. Every Tuesday night, you can tune into Instagram live and watch still comfy a show where Julia Washington host of pop culture makes me jealous.
Julia: And Natalie Catona host of to all the men I've tolerated before. Take a deep dive into pop culture properties. They once loved to see if they still stand the test of time or view new iterations of beloved shows, celebrity, biopics, and television, reboots of movies or old ideas in addition to co-producing and co-hosting the live show on Instagram, the pair takes to YouTube and go live to discuss new movies that are rooted in pop culturey.
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Julia: Visit pop culture makes me jealous.com/merch to shop and use promo code shop pod to receive 15% off your first order. That's S H O P P O D. Be sure to tag us on social, wearing your. So let's talk about sex in the city overall. What's your opinion. I know you said you loved it. So now let's just get into it.
Julia: Oh my
Carly: gosh. Okay. So here's the thing. I'm not gonna sit here and be like show on television and there are no problems with it. It's definitely not problematic because especially washing it back. I'm like, holy shit. There's so many,
Julia: so many problems, so many
problems
Carly: all, and they
Julia: just follow themselves into and just like that, even though they tried to course correct
Carly: oh my God.
Carly: They're like, I know the writer's room. They're like, here's what I think we should do. We should start the season super crunched so that people don't wanna continue watching. But then we slowly get to the point. So then towards the end, people are like, okay, I see what you were doing. All. , but in the meantime we will have lost half the viewers or more, what do you think guys?
Julia: like,
Carly: what was that? The goal? Because everyone I talked to is like, yeah, I didn't watch that. That shows piece of shit. Um,
Julia: but everyone I talked to who's watched, it is like ex Zig is same exact sentiment who watched it. And then when they announced there's a season two, livid, like tables were turned
Carly: I miss that.
Carly: There's a season two, uh, by the end of, and just like that, I was listening to the writer's room podcast every freaking week. Like I was like in it, but again, I'm not saying that there's not problems, so I just want to acknowledge that. Yeah. Okay guys, just acknowledging that, but. Did I present it as programming when I was an RA check.
Carly: Did I go to the tour in New York city with that same best friend from college? Yes. Check. Did I organize a viewing party? Uh, when the first movie came out with about 20 women and an after party where we all dressed up? Yes. Check. Did I dress up like Harry four Halloween circa. It was probably like 2003 check.
Carly: Like I freaking loved it. Um, but yeah, I real, I really, really loved it and I watched all, I've watched all the movies. I've watched the entire series multiple times. Um, yeah, but I think that it's not without its fault.
Julia: I agree. It's not without its fault. Like, like we mentioned earlier, I own every single season on D V D.
Julia: If it's on TV, I don't turn it off. Like, there's something about it. And it may, and for me, I think it's because maybe because I've never lived anywhere else. So when, when TV shows and movies specifically more TV shows are set in a city that I always thought I would end up in, I tend to like keep them going because it feels like that's what my life would have been had.
Julia: I had options or made different choices. I,
Carly: I did live in a big city, but I didn't move to that one. And I was planning on doing a stint in New York. And let's just say, long story short, I didn't, and it's definitely falls under like life. um, any TV show or movie like said it in New York, I'll probably be down to watch it.
Carly: So, yeah, same,
Julia: same. Yeah. And so the problem which falls into why certain types of shows are problematic when it comes to people like us, who, like we thought these things would happen and then they didn't and we hold onto 'em is because it's not, you know, a fair representation. It's such a, here's what I was thinking about earlier today on my walk.
Julia: It actually is a really great representation of like what a homogenous life looks like in the city. I think because if you're a wealthy white woman, you probably run with other wealthy white women. None of those women were really hurting for money. If you think about it carries the least. Financially stable of them all, but that's because of the choices she's making with money rather than what her income truly is.
Julia: Yeah. And so I think that's my perception. No, a
Carly: hundred percent choices. A woman had like 40 grand
Julia: in shoes. Yeah. And you know, she's doing all these really amazing things and yes, she marries big and he's got money. But the point is, is they're all, not that far off in terms of socioeconomic status. So they're all gonna be spending time with each other.
Julia: So like, yes, I support the argument of like this show's bullshit because there aren't any people of color on it and that's just not New York city hundred. But I wonder from that rich, wealthy, white perspective, if it really is actually a representation of New York in the way that being white in New York is mm,
Carly: like OG gossip, girl
Julia: mm-hmm poor Vanessa and her bad hair.
Julia: I don't know who the fuck. I don't know who the fuck did that to that brown girl. Like no. As soon as, so
Carly: I was immediate. I was like, let's not even get into the whole Vanessa thing. Like she got so much, Vanessa got trashed on mm-hmm trashed on and oh God.
Julia: And they didn't do any, any, any, they did a lot of disservices to her on the show.
Julia: Yes. Costuming hair, storylines, makeup, makeup, all of it. Yeah. It was almost like, they were like, well, we saw sex in the city and they got criticized for not having people of color. So let's throw in Vanessa. So it's not so homogenous, but then also
Carly: on her garbage to her. Yeah. Let's shit on her. Every chance we get.
Carly: So we're gonna have one person of color. Um, and. Then we're just gonna shit on them more than anybody else. Mm-hmm mm-hmm that's that's the plan. That's the plan. You guys you're you're in up. We're rolling. Let's do it. Let's ship it. Let's go. Fuck it, ship it. Let's do it.
Julia: So that's my theory about sex in the city that it's actually representation of what being white and rich in New York is.
Julia: I can, they wouldn't, they wouldn't be hanging out with people of color. That's not their world.
Carly: I can absolutely see that.
Julia: That is why I like Harlem, which gosh, a is coming on for and anybody listening, who has Amazon prime needs to get their ass over to that show ASAP because it is like so good. And I will get into it at, in a different episode with our friend cache cannot.
Julia: But, yeah, I'm just like, I get it. I'm here for the criticism. I'm here for the frustration. 100%. Like the Cosbys lived in Brooklyn. I knew there were black people in New York before sex in the city told me there weren't. Yeah. But at the same time, when I think about, and I don't know if you have this experience being mixed, but it's like been in my experience when I kind of, sometimes I'll look around the room and be like, wow, did I get myself surrounded by this many white friends?
Julia: I love them all dearly at the same time there's moments where I'm just like, Ooh, how did I do this to myself? Numbered? Where did, where did all the black people go? ? I mean, I also don't leave the house anymore, so that's, you know, more now it's more like all my friends are online. . I should probably get out and make friends.
Carly: Now it's overrated. Overrated.
Julia: I'm just that bitch stuck in her hometown, still friends with all her friends from high school. that's my
Carly: storyline. I mean, I can't be like, well, you've gotten the
Julia: going on going on 23 years of French.
more
Carly: from St. Home
Julia: 24. That was a long time. It was a long, it last century.
Julia: It's fine.
Carly: So last century. So
Julia: last century, when God. If you understand the nuances and intersections of being a bipo woman, a woman identifying a woman in a male dominated industry and all the microaggressions that come with the daily existence and how media reinforces those stereotypes. But you still love pop culture.
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Julia: Email pop culture makes me jealous gmail.com to get started. How do you think this show informed your opinions subtle or otherwise about wealthy, powerful women?
Carly: Uh, it informed them very, very directly in a very negative way. and I can't blame things on sex in the city. If I could blame them on them, then I would've sued and gotten my money back but, um, was I.
Carly: I think that when I was young, I got this impression or, and this is probably also just having to be like young and just not, not smart. Um, maybe just can't do basic edition, but , I was very, I felt very much like, you know what, like I'm an adult now. I, I deserve this and like, I I'm an adult. I have, I have leveled up my life without actually having like the funds to back it up.
Carly: Um, so, and I think sex in the city didn't necessarily help, you know, seeing Carrie, you know, she's like, could never really afford things really, but she always managed to scraped together. $500 for another pair of Manilas mm-hmm mm-hmm . And that she's like, that's my jam. Like, so shoes cost $500. I'm like, is that how grownups are shoes equal $500.
Carly: I mean, I guess like I'll, I'll just skip the shoes and just going out to dinner and drinks and clubbing with my friends and, um, just racking up credit card debt left and right. Yeah, I know. So, um, that's that's on me. Those were choices. Mm-hmm was my idol, Carrie Bradshaw. yeah. So, um, ask me about my debt journey, if you would like to get some advice about that.
Carly: Yeah.
Julia: I think sex in the city definitely made me, had me believe that I was supposed to grow up to have like that solid group of three. Oh, where that, and I make four and we see that a lot in TV. We see that a lot represented in television where there's. Four or six mm-hmm it's either four, four, all female or six, three men, three women.
Julia: Mm-hmm and that's just not always true. Mm-hmm but I sure as shit believed that that was what adulthood was gonna be. Yeah.
Carly: Just like a really close knit mm-hmm group and you just hung out forever. Yeah.
Julia: Mm-hmm yeah. Now the idea of living with somebody as a roommate in the way that like Monica and Rachel did absolutely not.
Carly: your percent. No, like didn't pay me enough.
Julia: Couldn't pay me enough. No, I don't even know if 10 years ago I'd have been willing to do it.
Carly: I'll live in a tiny home by myself. Thank you very much. Yeah, I won't. No, mm-hmm can't do that ever again. No, and that's fine.
Julia: Yeah, sex in the city. Hasn't avoided criticism for its lack of diversity, especially for being a show that is set in New York city.
Julia: And while I don't disagree with their criticism, as I mentioned earlier, I think it highlights just how homogenous wealthy white women's worlds can be. Say that five times fast, I'll buy a cocktail or a cocktail if you're not a drinker. Carly, thank you again for joining me today. You know, I love it. When you come by, you know, I love your own wavering support, you know, I love you
Carly: and you know that I love being a Patreon, Julia.
Carly: So yeah, at home, if you haven't checked that out yet, you
Julia: need to do it become a Patreon pal. Can you tell our friends at home where they can find you if they wanna keep up with you?
Carly: Absolutely. You can find me, um, at my site, tidy revival.com or Instagram, Facebook TikTok, Pinterest at tidy revival. Yay.
Carly: Thanks Julia. I
Julia: love tidy revival. She's tidy revival at my house so many times because apparently I, every room needs a little TLC. Oh
Carly: yeah. We all need a little TLC.
Julia: Mm-hmm cause I think people and we'll get into this on your show. I think people think that it's one big overhaul, but really it's like what I've learned from Carly Adams is that it's one room at a time.
Julia: Sometimes it's just one stack at a time.
Carly: We were talking about it on the Q and a call today in my community. We have Q and a calls twice a month. And um, we were talking about how the best analogy that I'm loving at the moment for getting organized is it's like hydration. Oh, because you can't do it all at once.
Carly: It's gonna make you sick. It's gonna make you very uncomfortable. Yeah. And you can't just do it one day and then just kind of be done. It has to be. Like a little bit at a time consistently and that's, what's gonna leave you feeling great. Mm-hmm so, yeah, just lump it in with your other healthy
Julia: habits. Pop culture makes me jealous is written, edited and produced by me, Julia Washington.
Julia: And I am fueled by the incredible support system of women who allow me to run ideas, cry, melt down. Whenever I feel overwhelmed. I also wanna do a big shout out to our Patreon community. Thank you for your continued support. It brings me great joy to bring you quality content and monthly. Get togethers.
Julia: Thanks for tuning in y'all until next time.
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