Get Rich Lucky B!tch | 16
Show Notes:
Carly Adams owner of Tidy Revival (and Patreon Pal!) is our guest this week and we are discussing money mindset and the book Get Rich Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield-Thomas.
Resources mentioned in the episode:
https://undecidedthebook.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/saxbe-repetti-pspb-2010.pdf
https://minimalistmomspodcast.com/episodes/episode-177-bulk-shopping-with-carly-adams
Transcript:
Julia: Hey, jelly Pops. Before we get onto the show, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's joined our Patreon, especially those who joined in March of 2023. Welcome to the Club. I'm so excited you're here. I can't wait to get to know all of you more if you're not a member of our Patreon, that's okay.
Julia: You should check it out. We do a monthly book club. We have a quarterly happy hour. The book club is actually open to everybody, but if you are a member under the Patreon, you get all kinds of fun perks. So check it out. Oh, you're wondering what those perks are? Okay. It's things like discounts on merch, free merch, access to book club playback, and you get to vote on what we read every month.
Julia: You can check all of that out at patreon.com/pop culture makes me jealous, and I hope to see you there. Okay, now here we go. To the show.
Julia: Hey friends, this is pop culture makes me jealous where we talk about pop culture through the lens of race or gender, and sometimes both. Carly Adams is here and we're talking about Denise Duffield Thomas's book, get Rich, lucky Bitch.
Julia: Get Rich. Lucky Bitch was released on April 19th, 2013 and is considered a self-help book. But before we dive into our topic, let me introduce you to my guest. You know her, you already love her. It is Carly Adams. Carly is a home organizer based in Sacramento, California and owner of Tidy Revival. She has been featured on previous episodes like Moxie 10 Things I Hate About You, and she's All that.
Julia: She's a pop culture, makes me jealous. Patreon member, she turned me on to this book and once I finished it, I immediately demanded she come back to talk about it. Welcome back
Carly: Carly. Thank you. You know, this is one of my favorite places to be in life, so I'm very excited. Oh, I love that.
Julia: I think you're biased
Carly: though slightly, but that's all
Julia: is it's, I don't even know, like this is the point where it's like, let's do small banter, but it's like, what do we even banter about anymore?
Julia: Because everything we talk about, you know, we're just talking people.
Carly: I'm sure there will be plenty of banter to go around in the episode. There always
Julia: is. That's also true. Yeah. Why? What are we waiting for? We should just dive in. We have so much to talk about. Okay. Get Rich. Lucky Bitch is Denise St. Thomas's second book. So let's do a quick summary and this is a product description from Barnes and Noble.
Julia: In Get Rich Lucky Bitch, you'll learn how to unlock your hidden potential for abundance and upgrade your life forever. Join Lucky bitch author Denise Deel Thomas on a journey of self-discovery so you can smash through your abundance blocks and join a worldwide community of people who are learning to live large and become truly lucky bitches.
Julia: So I just wanna preface this with, these books are not often for, you know, books like Get Rich, lucky Bitch and Other Money books are not typically for the minimum wage worker as a single parent who spent most of her child's life earning a smidge over California's minimum wage, but still running at or near the poverty line.
Julia: Often in Money Matters slash Self-Help books. I struggled with the money books because, well, we'll get into it, but with Get Rich Lucky Bitch, it was the first money book that I felt like I actually gained something of value from. And here's why. Denise Diel Thomas gets into money mindset, which blew the door open for me.
Julia: Now, Carly, we've discussed what we believe to be true about money when we were kids, and so let's continue the conversation into adulthood. When you first entered adulthood slash college, what did you believe about money and how did that influence your decisions
Carly: Julia, so much. So. Um, I didn't know how to manage money effectively, so I would say in college I was essentially skating by, but I wasn't thriving.
Carly: Not that I know anyone who was thriving in college because I went to a state school, but, um,
Julia: I also state schools are, you know, un un it's like, um, an unspoken truth that anybody who goes to state schools from like, basically like a middle class family, which there's nothing wrong with that, but like, I don't know anybody who's like, A wealthy family person and going to state school.
Julia: Yeah.
Carly: Or if it was a state school, then it's in the uc
Julia: system. Yes. That, yeah. That's a totally different hierarchy. Yeah.
Carly: And it's, and it's essentially like a price point situation, uhhuh for many people, like, I got into this and this, but it makes more financial sense to go to the state school because X, Y, z.
Julia: Yeah. Sorry to cut you off. Go ahead.
Carly: No, I mean, that's not like inaccurate. Um, the other thing is that I emotionally wanted to make my own way in the world, um, and just kind of branch off of my parents for, um, you know, just kind of breaking away from like growing up super religious and that sort of thing.
Carly: Mm-hmm. So financially I was independent from the age of 19, although, because I talk about it a lot, so I know someone's gonna be like, wait a second, or than that one. Um, I did move back for a stint when I was 21 and I was at back at home for about nine months and I'm very grateful to that. So thank you mom and dad.
Carly: Um, but when I started diving into the world of managing my own money, budgeting, et cetera, I realized that although I was putting chunks of money away towards my debt, I was also spending a lot of money in ways that didn't make sense for the amount of income and debt that I had. And so I wasn't, it's not that I wasn't getting anywhere, it's just that I wasn't making the strides that I could have had.
Carly: I actually like done math. Um, so actually
Julia: done math, you know, if they actually cur encourage girls to do anything more than two plus two.
Carly: Yeah. But if I'd done like, you know, five plus seven or just anything else mm-hmm. Um, I would have definitely recommend recognized that I was doing things like, you know, like I was going out to a sit down restaurant with my girlfriend and like ordering wine and it's like Tuesday night, you know what I mean?
Carly: Mm-hmm. Like, there's just like no need for that when you're in say, college or your first job out of college and are in debt and don't have tons of extra money, um, you know, it's like splurging on higher end products like beauty products. Mm-hmm. When really I should have still been in like the grocery store aisle, getting my brands there.
Carly: Um, or just splashy gifts. I remember one Christmas I like gifted people, like more extravagant things that are more extravagant by like, A couple of times than I would get now. And I spent like the rest of the year paying them off cuz it was all on my credit card. Like I didn't have the money, but I was like, I'm a grownup now.
Carly: Like it was very, this is,
Julia: it was very that like, because I'm a grownup now, I'm a grownup
Carly: things, what does that even mean? Bubble? It doesn't mean shit cuz I'm, I'm barely, barely a grown up now and I'm many years older. Um, so yeah, it took, it took a lot of effort, um, for me to wrap my hand, my head around actually managing my finances effectively.
Carly: And, um, I had a ton of money mindset issues to work through and, you know, I'm still working through, I'm I know we're gonna talk about that. Yeah. Um, that are just kind of from like my scrappy youth and like working hard to get outta debt and from my days of being actually very ignorant about personal finance.
Carly: Mm-hmm. So, um, I didn't know much. To answer your question, I didn't know much at all.
Julia: Uh, same, like I always talk about, and I don't know how public I've been about it, but when people ask me, like, so, I mean, it's no secret. I had a baby at 20 and he's perfect. And, um, yes, I, um, had received, so here's where like I get stuck sometimes in life.
Julia: I had received an inheritance at 18, but the, the, the age spectrum of grandkids, like we all received an inheritance, like the maximum allowed you're, you're allowed to receive from according to the government without having to pay tax on it. Mm-hmm. So me at 18, my cousin at 38, it was this universal.
Julia: Everyone gets the same amount, you're all gonna get a check, have fun. But a 38 year old, which is the age I am now, she was much smarter about her $10,000 than I was. Mm-hmm. I lived my best trophy wife life. On that $10,000 in 2002 and had nothing left, plus credit card debt by the time my child was born.
Julia: Mm-hmm. Which I feel like my mom tried to be like, Hey, let's talk about how you're gonna spend your money. But we didn't have a relationship around money together. Mm-hmm. So it never, it was just kind of like, no, no, no, no. I'm uncomfortable with this. Like, we're not doing this. Mm-hmm. Like, I, you know, I kind of shut it down cause it was like, we've never talked about money, so why would we start now that I have $10,000 and I'm a legal adult No.
Julia: Rich,
Carly: now I don't need even need to hear from you about this. Correct.
Julia: Correct. Mm-hmm. So it it, the, it, um, I mean, I was even as I thought I was grown enough to even go to my marriage and family teacher in high school and be like, I'm inheriting $10,000, what should I do with it? And she was like, invest it.
Julia: And I, and I was like, okay. And then I left and never did that. Like what does investing mean to an 18 year old when you don't grow up in a situation where there's like extra money around the house, you know? Or that's part of the conversation regularly. So for me it was like, I did not know, I did not manage that money well at all.
Julia: And starting parenthood in debt had such a long-term economic ramifications that I'm still dealing with. Mm-hmm.
Carly: Yeah, I feel that, like I went and lived in another country for six months, came back in credit card debt, and it was very much like, you know, like they're calling and I'm like, I'm not, oh
Julia: God.
Julia: Oh, I never answered the phone, period. Even now I don't answer the phone. And then it has nothing to do with whether or not I have debt. It's just that I'm not talking on the phone.
Carly: I mean, yeah, no one, this is an old story.
Julia: I know. Um, but like 20 years ago, you know, 20 years ago. Mm-hmm.
Carly: Yeah. And it, so we own a house now, but we were just talking about it the other day, you know, when we decided that we wanted to buy a home, we went to, it was like, I was newly married, so then I was 30 and we went to the mortgage broker that we ended up working with, um, who was a referral from a friend.
Carly: He was amazing. By the way, if anyone ever needs a mortgage broker in California, I have the best one. Um, his name is Craig. We love Craig. So, so we went to him. We were like, Hey Greg, we wanna buy a house in five years. And he's like, cool, let's talk about it. Let's talk about where you're at. And I won't speak on my husband's cuz that's his own personal finance journey.
Carly: Um, but let's just say it was like, okay, I have like $200 in savings. I have a really shitty credit score and a bunch of debt including credit card debt and school loans. And he's like, cool, you probably shouldn't get a house right now. I'm like, no, no, I know. Not right now, but like in five years, like what do I do?
Carly: And he's like, well, you're just gonna pay down that debt girl. You're just gonna pay it down. Pay it down and pay it down and don't get in more debt. Pay it down and work your ass off. And then you're gonna raise that credit score and we're gonna keep touching base. And we're like, you got it? So we just kept touching base and I was able to turn it around, but it was a freaking journey.
Carly: Yeah, I believe
Julia: it because what was hard for me up until Denise Delfield Thomas's book was this idea that it was just like, It's so easy to save $5. Like how can you not save $5? Like, what's wrong with you that you ha you can't save $5? And for me it was like, I'm sorry. Like, ha do you not have, you have never met a child?
Julia: Like, ask me how many times I've had to find $5 so that way a school project could be done. Or because he forgot his luncheon, you know, I can't buy lunch. So it's like, char, see if this, you know, have the school put it on our account so that way and I'll figure out how to pay it later, kind of shit. Um, and so it was really hard for me when people just didn't understand, like, I started at a deficit, which means that I'm constantly trying to catch up.
Julia: Mm-hmm. And up until I think 2015 is when I finally finished my undergrad degree. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So up until 2015. So the first 11 years of his life, I'm not college educated. Mm-hmm. So I'm not working. Earning college educated wages. Mm-hmm. So there's that. So it's kind of like you can't raise a child on 1155 an hour.
Julia: I think I've told this story on the show before. I gotta raise 5 cents. I have 5 cents. It was like, why even bother? Why
Carly: even bother? Are you fucking with me, sir? What is this? I, it
Julia: was so insulting. It was like, we're gonna, that is insulting. You've done such a great job. You worked so hard and I'm making 1150.
Julia: And they're like, we're gonna give you a 5 cent raise. And I was like, so now in hindsight, I'm like, did you tell me like that because my work experience was limited and you thought I'd be grateful? Or were you trying to like, like I still can't figure it out, but I'm still offended 5 cents. I was just like, fuck you.
Julia: Like that literally does nothing to my income.
Carly: Yeah. I feel like that's, that's gonna be as we can into it, that'll be like a mom money memory that you're gonna have to work through. Mm-hmm.
Julia: And I just feel like it, when we talk about money, especially in adulthood, especially when it comes to like debt, I was talking to somebody about how I had like $7,000 in credit card debt and they literally said to me, that's nothing.
Julia: I've had $60,000 of credit card debt. Well, when my income is $20,000 a year, $6,000 of credit card debt feels overwhelming. So there's this hierarchy too of like my, you, you, you don't know what it's like to be in debt until it's like tens of thousands of hundreds of dollars and it's, but when you're making poverty wages and you pull out credit cards to get you by, it doesn't matter if it's 10,000, 6,000, a thousand, it's still a lot and it's still is heavy to carry.
Julia: And the
Carly: thing is that, and this is something that I learned, um, through Denise's work that I just find really interesting, is that people's emotional threshold for debt and savings can vary wildly by person. Mm-hmm. So one person might not feel comfortable every month until they've, like, spent everything in, like their bank account is at zero.
Carly: Like, that makes them feel comfortable. Or other people might feel really comfortable with $60,000 in debt, whereas somebody else, if they had $5 in debt, they'd be like freaking out way more. It's just this comfort level and it's a, it's more of an emotional thing than mm-hmm. Sometimes like a logistical thing, but.
Carly: Yeah. It's also not a freaking contest.
Julia: Yeah. And I think we placed that on there. And so what struck me the most about this book is how much she focuses on the money mindset, which is kind of what we're just talking about, right? Mm-hmm. So I started this book after we started mapping and recording this season.
Julia: Um, and the first step in her book discusses like the decluttering of everything in your life, right? She says, you can't manifest money. This is a direct quote. She says, you can't manifest money when you feel broke. And that is what unlocked me, because I was like, shit, it's so easy to feel broke. It's so easy to feel broke when you walk through the store and you're like, milk or eggs, you know?
Julia: So I think yes, I do know. Yeah, you do know. And, and it's so easy to feel broke when it's like, Do I fill up on half a tank or do I wait? Because I used to be a person that was like, this shit's going all the way down to empty before I get to a gas station. Cause I hate going to the gas station. But with the cost of gas nowadays, I don't even like, I'm like, oh, I'm at three quarters of a tank, hit that gas tank, hit that gas station, cuz I do not wanna pay more than this much money.
Julia: Um, because it's just, it's just gonna come from somewhere else. Anyway. So I wanna talk about how you think this book compares to other money and finance books specifically geared towards women. Because I know you've read a few and I've read a few.
Carly: I haven't read a ton, but I will. And, but I've read a, a few and I will say two other ones that I love.
Carly: Um, number one is you are a badass at Making Money by Jensen Shero, which is also about money mindset. It definitely has more of a kick in the ass approach. Hmm. And like, kick
Julia: in the Ass how
Carly: it's kind of like, I'm, I'm, this is in no way. Quoting the book. Okay. But I remember when I went to, so I went to see her, if, if I'm kind of getting my timeline correctly, I went to see her as she was doing, it was either a book tour or maybe a special event around your badass making money.
Carly: Mm-hmm. Because I got it signed and I was like, that came with the ticket. And I was very excited about that. Or maybe just getting the chance to have her sign something. I can't remember if I owned the book and she signed it, or if I got the book and she signed it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Um, anyway, but I remember at the time when she was on the stage, one of the things she was talking about is like, what is the thing that you're thinking of that's like your next step, your next leap?
Carly: And she's like, just do it. Like just. Do it. Like what do you have to lose? Just do it. And at the time, I remember I had two part-time jobs and I, and then my side business, which is now my full-time job, Heidi Revival. And I was thinking of letting go of one of the part-time jobs and just keeping one. But the thing is, it was like the part-time job I was looking to leave was 20 hours of the week, and the one I was looking to keep was 10.
Carly: Mm-hmm. So it was, it was a big leap. Yeah. And I remember her just being like, just do it. Just do it. Like really emotionally. I was like, I just, I dunno that I'm there to like, you know what I mean? I was like, I can't really, I can't leap without feeling good about it. I think that her books are definitely more like, it's kind of like big picture.
Carly: Mm. If that makes sense. Like big picture kicking in the ass. Like you need to change your mindset and this is why. Yeah. And like, You gotta do crazy things. Just get on out there and do crazy things.
Julia: But I appreciate that you see that big picture though, because I think so many of the money books geared towards women are big picture.
Julia: And with Diel Thomas, you're just kind of like, she does kind of do more of a broken down step by step, which yeah. Is what I needed. I that's what I needed. Yeah. The big picture for me is overwhelming because, you know, it's, it's, I'm always having to think about the big picture in so many ways. Why are you adding one more thing for me to think about the big picture when you do things like how when she asks questions like, You know, how are you, what was your relationship with money when you were a kid?
Julia: And then it unlocked all of these memories of, there's some financial trauma there. Like, and I know I'm not, I don't mean trauma in the way that trauma truly is. I just mean like very negative experiences when I've been excited about money and like money coming into my life. And then other people sort of like taking the joy from that and, and basically reaffirming that I don't deserve the money.
Julia: Yeah. And that's a huge part of trauma. Oh yeah. And that's a huge part of the mindset component where it was just like, I didn't realize until she was talking about, you know, what was your past? Like, it was like, oh my God, I have, that's influencing how I make decisions now. And I didn't even know it.
Carly: Yeah.
Carly: And I, I will say that I feel like, and it sounds like for you too, although I don't wanna put words in your mouth, I feel like this book from you was very like right place, right time. Mm-hmm. Um, because our mutual friend Tammy was telling me about it for well over a year. And I was like, okay, you know, but didn't really click.
Carly: Mm-hmm. And I was like, oh, I guess I'll check this out. And then once I did, I was like, holy shit. Um, but with Jen Centro, you know, I read her book, it meant a lot. I didn't take the leap after the, I heard her speak that day. I was like, I just need a little more time. Mm-hmm. And then I did end up leaving, but I will say, as a little side note, I read her first book or her first book in this series.
Carly: You are a badass at the perfect time. And it did help me make big kick in the ass. Mm. Big changes in my life. Like I read it right bef right as we were considering. I. Quitting our jobs and like leaving SF and moving and taking a travel sabbatical and then we did it. Yeah. So it was like this, like big kickass stuff that I don't know, I don't know if I would've been as motivated had I not read that book at the perfect time.
Carly: Yeah. Um, and then going backwards in time, cuz I'll be, I'll, I will be sad if I don't mention it, but another book that was very much right, right place, right time was um, when I was about 26 as I was just starting to get into learning about finances. Um, cuz I, I took my time through school and ended up graduating at 25.
Carly: Mm-hmm. Um, and so, so when I was 26, I was in my first, first company and I was like, Yeah, it was just, without getting too far into it, I was like, it is time to figure out my shit. Mm-hmm. And, um, I read this book by Susie Orman that's called The Money Book for Young, the Young, fabulous. And Broke. And she wrote it assuming that you know absolutely nothing about money.
Carly: And she breaks down things without making you feel stupid for not knowing. Oh, that's good to know. Yeah. It was like the book that I needed at the time, and it wasn't necessarily for women, but it's written by a woman. She's amazing. Mm-hmm. And I recommend it, honestly, for anyone, like, I wish I'd read it when I was 17.
Carly: You know, because she breaks down like what is investing and what are the different types of investing and how does it work and what would you expect and what is a good way to start and what's riskier and what's safer, like what's less volatile? She just breaks down all of those things that you don't, I mean, I learned a little bit about the stock market maybe like freshman year for like two weeks.
Carly: Mm-hmm. But that's it, you know?
Julia: Yeah. It's still sort of like an abstract thing to me.
Carly: Yeah. Yeah. It's um, it's its own, it's its own thing. Mm-hmm. So I, I feel like that that book was really helpful for me cuz it jumpstarted my, my journey, but it, it just assumed you were coming in knowing absolutely nothing and it was so, so sweet and kind and gentle about explaining everything and it was exactly what I needed.
Carly: Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. I think too, for me, like a lot of it is, There's so much, how do I say this?
Julia: Yes. We didn't like, we're solidly a middle class family growing up, money was definitely used as a manipulation tool. Mm-hmm. And I didn't really realize that until I got older. Mm-hmm. And started like responding to people in the ways that I was responded to, and it landed icky for them. Oh,
Carly: interesting.
Carly: Mm-hmm.
Julia: And then it's like, wait, what? And then, and that, and then, you know, having read Denise's and it, and I'm not getting into specifics on purpose, so now it's like, um, I, it, it, it, I thought it would be harder to break that than it was. Which I'm glad it wasn't it that hard to break, but I think that like, that's a huge part of our culture too, right?
Julia: Like, I will buy you whatever you want if you do X for me. And it's like, I don't know, I don't know. It's like, I don't know, what am I trying to say? The bribery aspect of when it comes to money rather than like teaching people to understand finances, like attaching that emotion to it, like you mentioned earlier, you know, having that emotional relationship with money I think is way more important in the first step to understanding money than like how to invest it.
Julia: Cuz if you don't understand your emotional relationship with money, then you're not gonna understand, like, n I don't, I don't know if anything else can come before that. That's a, a positive, healthy decision for you. Mm-hmm.
Carly: Yeah. I mean it's just kind of like, it's like. You know, like therapy, like knowing yourself and loving yourself in order to have healthy relationships with those around you.
Carly: Like you have to understand your relationship with money and where it comes from and your origin stories, and you have to be able to recognize patterns mm-hmm. In order to change them and have the relationship with money that you want. But if we, cuz everybody has money stories, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter where, what your background is.
Carly: Everyone has money stories. So if we don't take the time to figure out, okay, it is whatever's going on, like it's boils down to like limiting beliefs and stuff. And if you're mm-hmm. You know, if you find yourself saying like, oh, well that would be nice, but I can't do that. Like, okay, let's pause. Why can't I do that?
Carly: Why do I believe that? Where is it coming from? Mm-hmm. What have I been told over time, either by myself or some random person along the way that said one thing once when I was eight, and then it just like ingrained in my brain as a fact because I was a child and that's how children work. Mm-hmm. Um, and like, where did that come from?
Carly: Is this serving me anymore or not? And then if it's not recognizing it, forgiving yourself for believing that for so long and moving forward.
Julia: Yeah. Yeah, that's a huge part of it because I kept, I kept repeatedly getting into credit card debt and I couldn't understand it. I just didn't understand why I couldn't do it, like, why I couldn't just be like other quote, be like other people and, you know, yeah, pay off my balance at the end of the month and only use it in emergency type of situations.
Julia: And for me, part of it was twofold. One, I, you can't raise a kid on $11 an hour, so at some point you are borrowing money, whether it's from a credit COR card or a family member to get essential items. Um, that was a huge part of my credit card debt when I went back and reflected on it. Um, and two, you know, that having that cash flow at 18 that allowed me to basically live like a trophy wife for two years did not set me up for success in the sense of I really love.
Julia: Doing things that, you know, having endless supplies of cash opens up, if that makes any sense. Like money makes
Carly: things easier. Yay. It's just, it's a tool. And if we act like it's, if we decide that it's the root of all evil, then we're not recognizing it for what it is, which is a tool that can make many things
Julia: easier.
Julia: It's so funny, I have the story I wanna tell you that I've been dying to tell you. I keep forgetting to tell you, I'm gonna tell you right now, you know, I've moved into this new space. You've helped me a lot in a lot of ways. So I'm at a relative's house and they're like, we have this box of stuff we want to go through because we think you need these things, okay?
Julia: Mm-hmm. So they pull something out and they're like, this thing, and it's like, what is that? And they were like, it does this. And I said, that sounds like something I can hire somebody to do for me. And that's the more likely option. Mm-hmm. Because that sounds like something I ain't doing myself. Mm-hmm. Oh, but you could use it to cut pipes and you could do these things and it's really handy to have around the house.
Julia: Again, I'm just gonna hire somebody. I'm not gonna, oh, well you can have your son do it for you. Nope. Again, I'm just gonna hire somebody. Thank you. Move on. So after you know several things of like, that's the way the conversation goes. Explain to me what I could use this for. Oh, well, when you have this and you do this, that sounds like something I'll never do, but it's so important to have this at your house.
Julia: Nope. That sounds like something I'm gonna have. You need to have it at your house. I said, it sounds like, and then there were some scenarios where it was like, that sounds like something that I'll call you to borrow that for. I don't need it at my house. So even though those are like. Things. What I think caused pause in them was me saying, that sounds like something I'm gonna hire somebody to do.
Julia: Mm-hmm. Because the generational divide is you buy a house, you maintain it yourself, you do all the work yourself due to do to do. And I'm in the mindset of like, why am I gonna spend my Saturday fixing that when I know that there's probably somebody who does that for a living? And I can just stimulate the economy that way.
Carly: And why would you take precious hours outta your Saturday to learn how to do something? Because you have to learn the whole thing first. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Then, then do it at a 50% level, then this person who does it for a living. Mm-hmm. And like depending on the situation, like plumbing. I'm never doing plumbing.
Carly: Nope. At my house. I'm not gonna learn how to do plumbing. No, it's not happening. No, because I am not a plumber. Nope. I'm a home organizer, nor do I wanna be a
Julia: plumber. If I wanted to be a plumber, I'd be a fucking plumber.
Carly: Yeah. Like it's, and it's, the thing is, it's not like you're hiring a plumber to be on call every month.
Carly: You don't have like a retainer with a plumber. You're not, you know, pouring money down the drain. It's just, and in those rare times, you need somebody and then I know what's done,
Julia: right? Like, there's electrical stuff that needs to get handled and someone's like, oh, you can figure that out. There's YouTube
Carly: electrical.
Carly: No, absolutely not. This is how you die. I will
Julia: hire somebody. Well, you know, these services are so expensive, right? Because they've gone to school. They've gone to school. They're not a trade to learn how to do that trade. I didn't, I will find the money to pay that human. So it's done, right. So Deaf Field Thomas talks in chapter four and it's chapter five in the audiobook because the way that the audiobook breaks down is so irritating.
Carly: It's like, it's so irritating. There's no table of com talks. Yes. The contents and like, so then you have to look up an image of like what chap. Yeah,
Julia: it's, that drove me crazy. It's infuriating and I'm not a fan. But other than that, audio books are very helpful.
Carly: Also, just for the record guys, I'm so sorry to interrupt.
Carly: It's worth noting that Denise reads the book and I find her voice delightful. Well,
Julia: and she's got, you know, uh, she's Australian, right? So her Australian accent is like, just, it's just so nice.
Carly: I. I find it so soothing. And it's so funny cuz she mentions a few times in her books and in podcast and stuff that she was really self-conscious about her voice for a while and like considered hiring a coach because she's like, like, I'm too Australian.
Carly: Like no one's gonna want it. And I'm too
Julia: Australian. Oh my gosh, I just wanna hug her.
Carly: And she's like, somebody might write in and say like, oh, I don't like your voice, but like, what kind of asshole does that? And B, like, that's not your people. It's
Julia: fine. Yeah. And they, and people do that to women all the time.
Julia: Like, you could have the most perfect voice and someone's still gonna be like, I don't like your voice.
Carly: So Okay. Change a channel. There's literally like 2 billion other podcasts. Go for it. Yeah. You don't have it here. Yeah. I'm so sorry for interrupting. Oh my gosh. It's
Julia: totally, you're No, you're fine. But in chapter four, in the hard book, five, in the audio book, she talks about decluttering your money, beliefs, and sabotaging habits.
Julia: So this to me was also a major awakening. So I'll just say this whole book was a major awakening. Okay. Oh yeah. Um, and so Carly, your area of expertise in the tidiness world is decluttering. Yeah. So can you talk a little bit about how decluttering and a money mindset go hand in hand?
Carly: Hell yeah. I can. Okay.
Carly: So in my notes I wrote, holy shit, this was just a lightning bolt, a self-realization. So that's how my notes, that's how my notes started out from this section. Um, so. In the same way that we feel strained by physical items, which our friend Tammy calls having too many tabs open emotionally. Mm-hmm. Which I love.
Carly: I'm like, that's so smart. So if you have too many, too many physical items, you have too much clutter. When you put things away, when you let go of what no longer serves you. And when you generally tidy up, you feel lighter, like you have more breathing room. Mm-hmm. And this is what I hear from so many people after decluttering like literally hundreds of homes.
Carly: And if you're in your office, this helps you concentrate and have the mental bandwidth for new ideas to come your way. For an artist, this can help you. Us, you're a new inspiration in your bedroom. This gives you room to have a sense of relaxation and chill. And it's not in your head. And I need people to understand this.
Carly: I talk about this a lot, so it's not in your head. Clutter is linked to our cortisol levels. And there was this study done around it, this link between cortisol levels and clutter in your home. So many, so many articles end up quoting this study. Mm-hmm. Um, so I'm giving it to Julius so she can link it in the show notes if you're interested.
Carly: It's a very, very good read. And the same thing happens with our mindset. So if we're telling ourselves stories that no longer serve us, even unconsciously, it's mentally the same thing as having half a stuffed closet of things that don't fit you or that you don't actually like. And when we let go of these stories, which many of which we realize as we work through it, like, oh, that's, that's not even true.
Carly: Mm-hmm. It's just something that you picked up and then your brain is like, this is fact, this is fact. Like somebody might tell you when you're, again, like eight years old or something, like, oh, you're not the smartest, you know, crayon on the box or something. And then you might say like, oh, okay, I'm not the smartest one.
Carly: And then over time you might be like, well, just don't forget. Like you're not the smartest person. Mm-hmm. So other people are smarter than you and you're not smart. So then it, when it comes to things like, you know, trying new things or whatever the case may be, that could be something that really holds you back, even though that's not true.
Carly: And there's so many things in life that are totally learnable. Like me being a tidy person, like I'm not a naturally tidy person at all. So we need to recognize these stories for what they are. And when we are able to do that and make a concerted effort for letting them go, you will make room for those new ideas, those new thoughts, those new creativity, um, or that new creativity, excuse me.
Carly: But it was just, When I read that in her book or listened to it, it was, it just like, hit me like a lightning wall. I'm like, it is the same process. Mm-hmm. It is just the same process. And in her close community, which I put later in the notes with spoiler alert, I totally joined because I'm like addicted to her content and I find it very useful.
Carly: I'm very happy that I did. Um, but we keep coming back to the same principles and it's coming back to decluttering. You're not like done. It's like, Hey, spoiler alert. This is just part of a process that you're just gonna work on. And it's fine. It just like any other good habits, like your hydration, you're getting sleep, you're tidying up at night or whatever the case may be.
Carly: It just kind of becomes part of your routine where when things come along, you think to yourself, wait a second. Is that some random story I've been telling myself or is that a fact? And if it's a random story, then you can think, okay, where is this coming from? And then once you kind of dig and then realize it, then you can, you can think on it, you can ponder, you can forgive yourself for believing it for so long, and you can work through it.
Carly: I'll be like, okay, I'm letting you know. Go now and it's fine. Thank you so much for your time. Good day. Um, and it might come back later in the future, but it's just like clutter, right? Like you might declutter and the new things might move in. It might even be. I don't know, different versions of the same thing.
Carly: And you're like, oh, okay, this again. Got it. No worries. And then you just keep moving forward. But every time you do it, your muscles strengthen in the same way as when you declutter your home and you're, I swear, like on all things holy or not. Cause I'm not religious, but um, like you will be better for it.
Carly: It's amazing.
Julia: Yeah. Yeah. It's like I tell the, your course community, whenever someone starts to beat themselves up, I'm just like, no, no, no. I've been working with Carly for five years. Like I think, um, like it's ta it's okay for it to take that long to, for it to become habit because it is really hard in the beginning.
Julia: Like one of the things that I started doing after reading the book, cuz she talks about like, do you know how much money is going out every month? Like, do you know how much money is coming in every month? And in theory I'm like, yeah, of course I do. My paychecks are this much every time and this is how much my bills are.
Julia: But I went out and bought a notebook. And check. And so for one month I logged into my banking accounts every single day, wrote down exactly what the balances were, wrote down everything that charged and what the cost was and where it was going. And then did a total. And I was like, oh, shit. Turns out I don't actually know, like I thought I did because in my head I have a rough estimate, but I don't actually know.
Julia: And I caught a couple of charges that were small that shouldn't have happened. And that's huge too because those little ones, like you don't always realize like a 99 cent charge from Apple. And Apple doesn't identify what the fuck the charge is for, which is really irritating. Like I had a $20 charge, it was like 1998, and I was like, this shit is all of these charges from Apple.
Julia: And then when I went in, I was like, oh, I rented a bunch of movies. Okay. Well it would've been nice if you had like said for movie rentals or, yeah. Or like not, instead of doing one lump. Pull. You did it individually like the way Amazon does, but at least Amazon sends me a receipt that says you rented this movie.
Julia: Yeah.
Carly: Yeah. When I, when I first started doing budgeting monthly, cuz I've been budgeting monthly now for I guess over 10 years. Mm-hmm. Which is wild. Um, but it's the thing that, and I'm not saying this is the right choice for everyone, but for me personally, this just made like a huge, huge, um, dent in my, um, what am I trying to say?
Carly: My mindset. A big dent in my debt. But it also just was the game changer for keeping me on track. So when I first started budgeting, I was the sa, I was like, I know where my money's going. Like I'm putting away all this money towards my debt. Like I'm fine. But then when I actually did like an in-depth analysis of where my money was going, I was like, okay, so I'm spending roughly mm, $200 a month at Starbucks, taco Co Bell and Walgreens combined.
Carly: Yeah. It's the, because they were like within walking distance on my work. Well, and it's like
Julia: 3 99 here and 10 99 there, and you don't really, and you know that whole concept of like, if you buy Starbucks every day for a year and da, da, da and all that stuff, I hated that shit because it was like, okay, whatever.
Julia: You know? But at the same time, if you're doing that multiple in multiple different ways, it's not just going to Starbucks. It's going to Starbucks and Taco Bell and whatever the, and Walmart. Like that's the combination that really keeps you from like having expendable cash because you're spending your expendable cash.
Julia: Yeah. You're just doing it in, in small, you it, yeah. It's just in small amounts so you don't count it, right? Mm-hmm. Like it's so easy to be like, oh, I was just like $4. I don't care. Um, and for me there's other types of like quote, taxes involved. When we lived in a really small apartment with a really tiny kitchen that required two and a half hours worth of cleanup time after cooking because it's so small, it turned into cooking's not worth it.
Julia: I don't care if it's cost effective, but now I'm spending two and a half hours after dinner cleaning up this kitchen cuz it can't all be done at once and you can't even do it at like, my preferred way to clean up after cooking is, you know, to clean up as you go. But you can't even do that because even if you do that, you're still like, Like, there's just no, there just wasn't enough space.
Julia: Um, and for people who don't know the kitchen that I used to have, um, you couldn't open the refrigerator door all the way. Like that's how narrow it was. Mm-hmm. It was very small. Um, and there wasn't a ton of counter space. So it turned into, all right, I'm picking up my child, let's get takeaway for dinner.
Julia: And it would be like in and out Taco Bell, you know, quick, easy stuff that had a drive through, and that would be our dinner. And it turned into, you know, A different form of poverty tax because it's like, do I wanna spend two and a half hours after dinner away from my child cleaning up because he can't even help me because the kitchen is so fucking small.
Julia: You know? So it's not like we can make it a family event or like, so for me it was like sacrifice the financial so I can still have quality time. And that was hard too, because then it's like, we're not eating quality meals unless we're going to family member's house and this whole thing, whatever. But when we got into a bigger space in my kitchen, um, literally tripled in size, it turned into this mindset that I had to really think about how do I wanna effectively have a grocery budget?
Julia: Because I had a friend say something like, oh, now you can shop at Costco. And you and I have had this conversation. I don't. Want to buy in bulk, I have. Mm-hmm. I'm being neuro divergent means I will forget, get distracted and food will go bad, which is another form of throwing money away. The one that we're all the most familiar with.
Julia: Cuz our parents will tell us, you're throwing money away by not eating that broccoli on your plate. And so it turned into how do I set up my kitchen so I can still see all the food that I have to eat And I also am making sure I'm maximizing my budget. Mm-hmm. Cuz I don't need to go to Costco once a month, spend $300 and then throw half of it away by the middle of the month.
Julia: Mm-hmm.
Carly: As a super side note, if anybody wants to hear my rant about, um, bulk shopping, specifically from Costco as it pertains to minimalist values, I have an episode on the Minimalist Moms podcast all about that. It's called is Bulk Shopping, anti Minimalist with Carly Abs.
Julia: Nice. I I actually can't wait to tune into that cuz there are some things that I feel like I could po potentially bulk shop, but then there are definitely some things that it's just y it's no, just no.
Carly: Oh yeah. You have to be insanely intentional mm-hmm. With small
Julia: families. Yeah. And because it's hard cuz our society caters to such large families and it's, and that's one reason too why I think getting takeaway was so much easier for us. Um, and didn't really feel like it hit the budget as hard because it was, you know, $15 a inn out for the two of us.
Carly: Yeah. Versus someone told me recently, they, it was a larger family and they said they could easily spend like $200 on a dinner. And I'm like, oh, okay. Well that's a whole different story cuz we're, we're a two person household also. And that's, It's easier.
Julia: Yeah. Or like if we wanted to sit down dinner, it's like, okay, that's gonna be 50 bucks.
Julia: But when it's, you know, the whole fam, if my parents are included, it's, you know, closer to 200. Right. So it's like, so, so in some ways that money expense didn't feel like it hurt the budget as much because it's like, well, it's only $15 a day, times 30. Um, but then on the weekends it was, you know, 15, it was two meals a day.
Julia: Times, you know, whatever weekdays. So I, I did see a lot of value add back into my budget when we did have a kitchen and I could store things that I could quickly cook or, um, I have this meal that I like to prep and it makes enough for four days. So in chapter eight, really it's chapter nine, if you're listening to the book, deaf Field, Thomas really dives into money sabotaging.
Julia: And so I wanna talk about this because I feel like there is absolutely no grace in learning. As women, we have this expectation to be perfect and death field. Thomas writes this quote, your sabotages are your default fear patterns, showing up with when things are going too well. End quote. So Carly, how have you worked through your own self-sabotage when it comes to money?
Carly: Yeah. Um, so first it's really important for me to continually recognize that it's not a one-on-one process. There's gonna be old memories that keep popping up, um, and that you keep connecting with your present, that you need to work on forgiving yourself for the past. Um, and I know that can sound silly, but honestly, if you read it, just try it because I found it so wildly helpful.
Carly: Um, and then just constant, consciously letting them go. And it doesn't mean it's gone forever, but it means that you're doing this work. Um, so I've been doing the work heavily for about the last six months, and I have found. All sorts of sabotages that I didn't realize were holding me back. And I noted a few, I'm not really gonna get into like specific specifics.
Carly: Okay. Um, I think I had a lot of, a lot of pride in being scrappy and making do that really served me well when I was younger and that I really needed to. But I have been realizing that it's not necessarily in alignment with the leveling up in business that I'm heading towards and that I'm working actively working towards.
Carly: And it's not, it's not like, it's not like being too good for being scrappy. It's more like realizing that it's okay if you're allowing yourself to have enough abundance that you don't always need to be scrappy.
Julia: Yeah. At some point you outgrow scrappy.
Carly: Yeah. And that's okay too. Like the, something that Denise talks about a lot is, um, like mantra she tells herself is and encourages others, is that it's safe for me to mm-hmm.
Carly: X, Y, Z. So in this case it might be, it's safe for me to not have to be scrappy. It's safe for me to live in abundance. Yeah. Um, recognizing when fear is coming from a scarcity versus abundance mindset, recognizing and having faith in my own value and what I bring to the table. Breaking through limiting beliefs on my own of what is possible in my business.
Carly: Um, recognizing one that I, this was a big one. I won't get into it too much, but, um, but, Hmm. Um, recognizing I was holding myself from being too pigeon holding my thinking. Like if I expected, if I was working towards an expected money to come from, let's just say X, Y, Z. I might be hammering away at that and missing that the universe is saying like, okay, people are literally ex asking for A, B, C.
Carly: Mm-hmm. And I'm like, no, no, a, B, C. I said, X, Y, Z. And the universe is like, but if you just open yourself up to A, B, C, like you could actually easily make a lot of money. It's right there. Mm-hmm. Do you want it? Mm-hmm. And I'm like, X, Y, Z. I'm like, okay, I guess I'll try A, B, C. And it's like boom. Okay, got it.
Carly: Noted. Um, and overall just getting into the habit of recognizing when I might be getting into my own way. Mm-hmm. And when you recognizing, figuring out where it's coming from, if it's an old story, and then forgiving yourself intentionally and moving forward. Yeah.
Julia: Yeah. I think that's great. What was the second one you listed?
Julia: I felt like that was the one that resonated with me.
Carly: Um, realizing when fear is coming from a scarcity mindset versus abundance.
Julia: Yeah. So that mi the fear, scarcity, abundance, all of that, that's currently what I'm working through. And that's what this book has opened up for me because it's always been, oh my gosh, I have this huge financial burden that showed up that I wasn't expecting, and I have no idea how I'm gonna handle it.
Julia: And it puts me right back in this negative space of like, this is, you know, say two years ago, it would put me in this space of like, I don't know how I'm gonna survive. Why does this keep happening to me? I'm so bad with money. I'm, this is, I'm a failure in adulthood. I can't believe I'm failing my family this way again and again and again.
Julia: And then when I read the book and start, you know, I haven't really done a ton outside of reading the book and just practicing what's in the book. You know, now when something happens, like I wasn't warned that my checks would be, um, There wasn't, something wasn't getting taken outta my checks that was supposed to be getting taken outta my checks.
Julia: Oh, got it. Mm-hmm. And rather than warning me that they were gonna, they've discovered this and ha and have now cor corrected it, I find out one day, cuz you know, I'm tracking all my money. Mm-hmm. So I'm tracking my money is like, why is this amount not the right amount? And then I do some investigative work, get the answers.
Julia: Two year, a year ago, even that would've devastated me to the point where it's just like, I suck. I'm a failure. This is awful. I can't believe I'm doing the, and this keeps happening to me. When it happened this time, I was like, you know what, I'm gonna figure out how to make that money back. Anyway, so glad you fixed it next time, Warner a girl.
Julia: Exactly. It was such a, it was such a hu and it wasn't like, this isn't about like, it wasn't me. I didn't do anything. I wasn't a failure. This system fucked up, and now I'm paying the price, but it wasn't my fault. And you know, and it it, because I have so many things, so many fire, um, irons in the fire. It was like, this money is gonna come back to me one way or another.
Julia: It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but it's on its way back. Mm-hmm. And, and that's the difference. Mm-hmm.
Carly: Yeah. I had, I had something similar happen in the last month where I ended up getting an unexpected bill and I was like, surely this is a mistake. And then when I dug in, I reas like, I figured out how it happened and when it happened and how it wasn't noticed.
Carly: Mm-hmm. But it was in fact a legit bill and it wasn't, it wasn't small. And so instead of, um, Crying about it a lot and just like going into like a pit of despair and just being like, no, everything's ruined. I was like, okay. Mm-hmm. Alright, well course of action. What is it going to be and what does this mean?
Carly: And where do I go from here? And well, mistakes happen, I guess it is what it is. And to be able to kind of have them be like, well, we're gonna figure it out. I mean, what are you gonna do? Mistakes happen. Yeah. I'm not beating myself up over it. It's, yep. You know? Yeah. Yep.
Julia: And I wish, and, and you know, there's, I can't go back 20 years and fix everything, but I can moving forward.
Julia: And I have found that I've broken some of those, that negative relationship with money that I inherited, I've broken that because I do not want to. I do not want that to carry on in the way I hold a relationship with my offspring when it comes to money. Mm-hmm. Whether or not I taught him good money practices has yet to be remain is the answer is probably no.
Julia: Because we didn't have that relationship for such a long time and I didn't actually start getting into how I need to manage money until I thought I would be able to buy a house. And then that didn't happen. But it kept me going in the trajectory of like, well, I don't want to be a renter my entire life, so how do I make this better?
Julia: Which is, you know, good. But it, it's one of those things where it's like, well, don't have guilt over it just because you figured it out at 38. Like it's okay that you figured it out late. Like our society doesn't foster relationships for us to understand money. Cuz that's part of the, if you wanna be a conspiracy theorist, that's part of the capitalistic ploy.
Julia: Keep people stressed out, overworked, underpaid, and they'll never figure it out.
Carly: Uh, you can't see me nodding right now, but
Julia: overall, how do you think this book
Carly: has impacted your life? Okay, so this book impacted me a lot. Um, I read this and Denise's book she did just after that, which is recently rebranded to Chill and Prosper.
Carly: Um, side note, if you get chill, you see it, just know that that's an older version of Chill and Prosper and you're gonna want the new one. Um, but anyway, that one's more of a business book. I listened to them twice in two weeks because I, I was, I got done with Lucky Bitch and I was like, that's amazing.
Carly: What else is there? Listen to it again. And I was like, you know what? I think I just, I need to just sink in one more time and just immediately listen to them both and you know me. Like it's not that I'm not. Trying to learn and grow, but I do not consider myself an avid reader, only because that would be false.
Carly: Um, that was just, just a lie. So the fact that I read two books twice in two weeks is actually like, kind of insane, uh, for me specifically,
Julia: whereas that's the norm for me. Yeah.
Carly: And it's a norm for many people that I know. For me, that's like wild. Yeah. Like that has never happened in my life. Um, but it just really, I just found so much gold I wanted it to sink in.
Carly: I started listening to it again, preparing for this episode, just so it could be a little bit fresh. And I was like, why did I wait so long? It's been less than six months. How did I, why did I wait so long to dive back in? Um, as I mentioned, Our good friend Tammy had been telling me about Denise's work for over a year.
Carly: And I wasn't ready I guess, but once I was, I was super in, I've been binging her content ever since. I know I mentioned I joined her program so I'd have access to more conversations cuz she does, she does these live monthly calls. Oh, and she does, she does 'em two, one on for different time zones. So it can generally be very similar content, but sometimes it takes a little bit of a different approach and Sure.
Carly: When you listen to one, you kind of know if the second one or is, or when they start the call, they'll be like, oh, it's the same coverage anyway. Um, the point is when you join the program and you get access to the old conversations, oh, so like right now I'm on December, 2021 and I'm listening to those calls and so it's a lot of the same.
Carly: It's a lot of the same work. And she says this all the time, it's not like, you know, smoke and mirrors and you're like, wait, it's the same. She's like, it's the same work. We just get more in depth in it more often. Yeah. And then you have access to this community too. Anyway, I'm not here to sell her program.
Carly: Um, the point is, it's just these fresh conversations that help you think about the same process, but from a new angle consistently. And it's really, really, really helped me. It has helped me increase my self worth, like emotionally. Mm-hmm. Um, it helped inspire me to raise my prices. I stopped doing a ton of things.
Carly: There were like groups that I quit, um, Different types of income streams that I ended up quitting multiple. Um, I'm increasing my sales. I'm approaching problems from new angles. I'm going outside my comfort zone. I'm really excited about the future. And then the biggest thing is that I have these big goals, but I feel very empowered to make them figure outable.
Carly: And it's like this book has just been a wildly, wildly impactful book on my life.
Julia: Yeah, I agree. Like I told you earlier in this conversation, there's so many money mindset or money books that are geared towards women where you're just like, did, did you forget that the majority of us don't make money? Our earned income is pathetic.
Carly: And that there's a giant income gap. Yeah. Like between us and our male counterparts.
Julia: Yeah. Did you also forget that? Not every, and, and that's the, and at the end of the day, a lot of those books are geared towards women who are looking to be their own boss and have their own business, but that's just not real and the reality for a lot of women.
Julia: Um, and so when she, when she got into the mindset stuff, I was like, ah, this is a gal I can get behind because you're forcing me to look at the relationship I've had with money that I didn't realize was there. Yeah. And is act actually influencing current decisions. And it's
Carly: super interesting because when you're hearing from many, many, many women as they're working through these issues, the income levels that they might be at might be different depending on how long they've been in business or what's going on, but.
Carly: We're all working through shit. Mm-hmm. It's like we, we think that if we get to this certain level, or I definitely did, like once you get to this certain level, like all your problems will go away, but that's not the case. We just have to like, keep working on them or work at them from a different angle or something else is gonna pop up.
Carly: Yeah. But it's also inspiring to see what else is possible when you see people who are bringing in income that's at a different level than yours. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because you're like, you know, she's doing it like we all started from zero. Yeah. And, and it's not easy. And it's like I would be lying if I like just flat out lying if I said it wasn't only possible for me to go at this in the way that I have, especially through Covid because I, there's a second income in my household.
Carly: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. To say anything else would be just a flatout lie cuz I didn't pay myself during covid for. Months.
Julia: Yeah, months. I appreciate that you say that because I feel like a lot of times when I do enter into, you know, female professional groups in business, the unspoken thing is always, there's a steady income from a partner.
Julia: So a lot of the advice that is offered, you're just like, I can't do that. I am the steady income. Like, yeah, I can't do that. Like I am a, i, there is no other person bringing money into this house. I am my husband. Like,
Carly: yeah. Yeah, exactly. And like if, I mean, it's not like I couldn't have done it, but I would have completely, I would've had to approach it completely differently.
Julia: Completely differently. Yeah. A hundred percent. And, and that's huge. That's huge that you acknowledge that. And I really appreciate that as a person who has been a single solo income parent. For the entirety of my child's life. Mm-hmm. Um, it, it, it can, and I think that's a lot of why some of those other books really hit me in a way where I'm just like, fuck you.
Julia: Because they have partners who are doing the other labor that is, that they're, that this person writing the book isn't doing. Mm-hmm. And you know, for me it's like at the end of the day, it's all me. Like all of it. Mm-hmm. Like every single stick and lick of it is me. So that suggestion that you just made, that I go to this meeting on Tuesdays at 10:00 AM is not real.
Julia: So.
Carly: Yeah. Or like, thanks for that. Listening to a podcast and someone being like, listen, like you're getting bogged down by your inbox. What you need to do is have your assistant check your email and you're like, oh, is that the solution? Have my assistant check my email. Thanks so much. So-and-so
Julia: like, it's like I am the assistant motherfucker.
Carly: Like, what the fuck are you talking about Anyway?
Julia: Right. So there's a lot of time, there's a lot of ways too, where it's just like, There are, because I've always been that woman who's like, I want to be working for myself. I have all these endeavors and all these things. And I don't find that there's a lot of conversation around how solo women can do that.
Julia: And then whenever I find somebody who is like Mega Buca successful and they're a single parent, I'm just like, how the fuck did you do that? I barely survived single parenting. Like, I don't understand. And then it, and it turns, you know, then maybe they're not being completely honest about how they did it, or maybe they were, you know, always in a position.
Julia: I don't know. I don't know.
Carly: Yeah. And maybe they burn out less easily. Like, I feel like to, to do this, I would've had to have a full-time job. Mm-hmm. And then completely replace that income. Yeah. By the time I made the leap versus move to a new city, get two part-time jobs, and then like phase them out as I grow the other one.
Carly: Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Um, But I'm still not, even though like I'm doing this full-time and things are on track to where I want them to be, but I'm not, like my financial goals have not been reached, you know? Yeah. I'm not at the, at the paycheck level that I would like
Julia: to be. Well, and I feel like just right now we're film, we're recording this in December of 2022.
Julia: I feel like right now that's, you know, true for a lot of people because it's, you know, your gross grocery bills have doubled, gas bills have doubled. Things that were affordable are now not Yeah. Why? It's a bit much. Yeah. So it's, it's a lot of people I know who, you know, run service-based businesses or even product-based businesses are not converting and are not reaching the goals that they had in years past or would like to, like, their projections were like, this is what you should be doing and it's not happening.
Julia: And I think like, I love, you know, that those products I'd like to buy you for your birthdays and special occasions. Uh, there, I mean, there have been times where the price has gone up, so I've changed and there was no warning. So I've changed the way I shop at that store. So it still works for my budget.
Julia: I'm still supporting that store, but the, what I'm buying is no, like, in terms of quantity is nowhere near mm-hmm. What it used to be because it's still, it's still, it's like this is the amount I've allotted myself to spend at this place every month. And you've changed, you know, your product line. So this is just how we both win, but it's less money than you would probably normally get if I hadn't changed how I purchased the
Carly: product.
Carly: Yeah. I had to make a, a decision like that. This month too, where I'm like, I'm still spending with the vendor that I want to spend with, but is it at the level that I would prefer to, no, but that's okay. That's okay. Circle back in a couple months when I didn't just, you know, make a. Big purchase or whatever it's, you
Julia: know.
Julia: Yeah. Yeah. It's hard to believe that women in Money is a fairly recent concept, but it is, it was in my mother's generation that financial autonomy became a reality. And we've said it before on the show, it's a, it's a stat that's touted like all the time. We're talking in the 1970s people and the fact that women were allowed bank accounts independent of a male spouse is something we hear often.
Julia: But what is discussed less often is the impacts both mental and economic. This has had on the generations to follow. Carley, I love it when you're hearing, if we're both the most busy with life all in all the different projects, I would say you should be more of a permanent co-host because like it's, you're the best, but we have so much to do cuz we're badass Boss babes.
Julia: Is that still a thing? Is Badass Boss Babes still a thing? I think. I actually hate it, but you know what I'm saying.
Carly: I hate it, but I love to hate it. So anyway.
Julia: So we're just gonna keep having you on as a guest
Carly: whenever you wish. I am
Julia: in Yay. Uh, can you tell our Jelly Pops at home where they can find you if they wanna keep up with you?
Carly: Yeah, you can find me on Instagram. We mostly, we're like leaning mostly towards Instagram these days, so hit me up on Instagram. At Tidy Revival. We also have a podcast, the Tidy Revival podcast, and yeah, for all sorts of home organization. Goodness. I got you. To learn more
Julia: about Tidy Revival, you can visit her website, tidy revival.com.
Julia: We've been discussing wealthy women all season long, and it just made sense to discuss our own personal relationship with money too. And because Carly recommended this book, and she and I have this ongoing conversation about money, business, finances, all these things, she was the person I wanted to reach out to, to, to bring on for this specific topic.
Julia: I appreciate all of you who tune in every single episode. Thank you so much for your support. It really means a lot to me. If you haven't given us a review on Apple or wherever you listen, please do. It tells the streamers that we are a podcast worth listening to. I also wanna do a special shout out to our Patreon pals.
Julia: Thank you so much for your support. It literally keeps this podcast going, and that means the world to me, and I can't wait to see you all in book club and we're bringing back happy hours. I can't wait to see y'all in happy hour. Everyone else. I appreciate you. Thank you so much for tuning in y'all. Until next time.
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